Frugal Scholar

Frugal Son Changes Francs to Euros

2012-01-31T12:58:00.000-06:00

Ummmmm. Did I mention that I was in California, with very limited internet access? Luckily, I have another missive from Frugal Son. We did the same thing when we were in France last summer.

Monday January 16, 2012: Bref. Je suis allé à la Banque de France.
Today I did what Mama and Papa have been nagging me to do for months and finally went to the Banque de France to exchange the 100 franc note for euros. In addition to Mama and Papa’s constant reminders, there were a few other factors that were the ultimate impetus for my trip. For one, the euro had recently “celebrated” its 10th anniversary—although celebrated seems a little strong for the somber mood that surrounds the euro these days—and France was entering the waning weeks in which franc notes would be able to be turned into euro. Coins had already long passed this point, becoming valueless in 2005, but bills are still exchangeable until February 17. In addition to the limited time left to exchange, there was also the problem of my very limited funds following my Winter Vacation extravaganza in Germany and the Alps, which meant that the 15.24€ that the 100 francs would get me was suddenly a very enticing sum that would actually have a tangible effect on my day-to-day financial situation. I don’t work on Mondays, so in the morning I was free to go to the bank. I ended up getting a late start, so I had to walk briskly to get to the bank before they closed for lunch at 12.15. Fortunately, the bank was just about an eight-minute walk straight up the road that runs in front of the lycée, and though I had passed it many times on my way to the market, I managed to “get lost” (in reality it was just further up the road than I remembered) and had to ask directions from a postal employee. The building is surrounded by a tall metal fence, which also has panels to prevent you from even seeing in. The only public entrance was a little door in the fence where I had to push a button and then wait for someone to talk to me on the intercom. After a long wait (I even contemplated pushing the button again, but decided not to for fear of seeming suspicious or something) someone finally came on and asked me what I was there for and if I had identification; once I responded the door slowly swung open. Next, I had to press another button to get through the door into a little entrance room, where I was confronted by yet more doors! I again had to press a button and wait for permission to go through this door, which lead me into a tiny little air-lock type room with a machine for scanning IDs. I had to place my passport against a little scanner and then wait for approval before pushing the button and waiting for the next door to open. Finally I was in the actual bank, which was totally empty. I went to a guichet that was specially assigned for people exchanging francs and, after ringing the bell, briefly waited for the employee to show up. He took the francs, my passport, asked me about my address in Le Mans before handing me a full-page receipt to sign and handing over the euro bills. I left—once again going through all the doors—happy to have a bit of extra money to pay for some “exceptional” expenses, most notably a hair cut!

Shoe Shopping in France with Frugal Son

2012-01-25T17:01:00.000-06:00

He has a tiny budget and needs some new shoes. He's trying to shop French-style: more quality, less quantity. So far, he's just window shopped.

Wednesday January 18, 2012: Bref. J’ai fait du leche-vitrine.

Although in the US I normally detest shopping, I feel like in France it is a lot different. For one, most shopping in the US seems to involve going to some gargantuan mall and spending all day flitting from shop to faceless shop, invariably one of the many chains that is exactly the same and found all over the country. Plus, shopping in the US is about buying a LOT. In France, while there are of course the grands surfaces that are more or less like malls in the US, shopping seems to more focused on small businesses that specialize in a few things. Inevitably this makes the goods more expensive, but that leads me to the next reason that I find shopping in France bearable and even enjoyable. In France, buying stuff is more about finding a few high quality items that you are going to keep for a long time and wear over and over, instead of getting twenty junky items that you are going to chuck out next year so you can repeat the whole cycle. Of course there are the H&Ms and other chains where price and quantity trump quality, but I think that French people and French sensibilities still place a lot of value on having a few great, albeit cher, items bought with care and intended to last.

Today after school I decided to go walk downtown and do a little window shopping, or leche-vitrine, which literally means “window licking”. I have been ogling some desert boots à la Clarks for some time, so today I decided to finally go try some on. The walk from my school to Place de la Republique follows Rue Nationale, which is a very commercial street with tons of different stores for everything from clothing to honey (yes, there is a store that only sells honey and honey products) to kitchen supplies. On the way to Republique I decided to stop in a yarn shop to look at what they had for my new obsession—knitting (more on that in a later letter)—since I had just run out of my first ball of yarn. This leads me to another thing that I love about shopping in the little stores, which is that it is a very personal experience. The store was tiny—just a narrow room with floor to ceiling shelves stocked with all kinds and colors of yarn—and the only person in the store was the owner. We talked about yarn, and he told me about the various products he sold, and even though I didn’t buy anything I think he was happy just to talk to me about beginning knitting and, consequently, I am now much more likely to go back there to buy my yarn. He had tons of cool stuff (the store only sells one brand of yarn, Bergere de France, but running the gamut from 100% synthetic to 100% cashmere to alpaca / wool blends) and I can’t wait until I’m good enough to start using some of it.

After leaving the yarn store I kept walking down Rue Nationale, which turns into Rue Minimes just before joining Place de la Republique. Rue Minimes is really the street to do shopping in Le Mans; it’s where all the big stores are (H&M, Galleries Lafayette, Eram, etc) but it’s also where the fancier independent stores are. I first went into a little shoe store called Heyraud (might actually be part of a chain, I’m not sure) because that’s the only store I know of in Le Mans that has actual Clarks Desert Boots. I didn’t try them on because I didn’t have the nerve (the store was very empty and I felt out of place), but I did feel them and look at them to see how they felt in terms of quality since, at 119€, they are the most expensive of my options. After, I went across the street to Eram and went and looked at some of their Eram brand desert boots. I actually tried them on (they looked good!) but I’m not sure if the quality is as good, although at 59€ they are half the price of the Clarks. After Eram I went to Galleries Lafayette, and there I looked at, but didn’t try on, the Hush Puppies desert boots (89€, but I think that’s pre 30% discount) and the Lafayette brand desert boots (79€, but again, I think that’s before a 30% discount).

Of course, me being me, I’m incapable of making a decision for myself, so I’m going to wait until MK or someone can come with me to help me make a decision. All of the shoes look good, but I want a second opinion to back up my ideas on the quality. Right now I’m kind of leaning towards the Hush Puppies, but I’m still thinking pretty strongly of getting the Clarks. I figure if they are as good quality and last as long as these Johnston and Murphy’s loafers I have now then they are well worth the price. I also went upstairs to look at sport coats / jackets; unfortunately the only one I found that I liked cost…435€. After Lafayette I popped briefly into H&M just because I know they have some fitted khaki denim type pants that are stylish and that I like. While I was there I ran into Laine, Bernie, and Diptesh (all three are fellow assistants) so I hung out with them while they finished their shopping and then headed home. One day I’ll buy something stylish to complete my makeover!

A Question to Be Asked: Gifts and Thrifts

2012-01-24T17:11:00.000-06:00

Oh, I have been a slacker of late, at least in the blogworld. In real life, I have gotten started with the semester. Today, though, I found myself in a thrift store. Why?

As Sir John Falstaff, a much-loved Shakespearean slacker, says to Prince Hal, a faux-slacker who will become King Henry V; "A question to be asked." Why, if I am in need of decluttering, am I subjecting myself to temptation, in the name of relaxation and saving money?

This has been a constant question to be asked. Such questions become more urgent around New Year's Day, not to mention my birthday of a few days ago. On my birthday, I received a beautiful gift; it lifts my heart every time I look at it.

Since this object is so beautiful, I decided to share some of my overabundance with others and so brought a big bag of very nice excess stuff to the thrift. That was good, but then, of course, I had to take a tiny peek. If I buy one item per week (which would be easy enough), I would amass 50 items per year. My beautiful gift would be buried in clutter!

So my last (for the moment) rude question: about how many new clothing items enter your space each year? I need a sense of what normal people do.

A question to be asked.

Intentional Spending

2012-01-19T20:01:00.000-06:00

How I love seeing examples of this. Two very different instances from the blogworld. The first, from a blog I'd never read till I followed a link on Une Femme details the purchase of a pair of longed-for Hermes boots: yes, here we have a blogger who is twins with Carla Bruni.

Then from a blogger I've been reading for a while: iamtheworkingpoor. She has had many challenges this year, but managed to pay off her debt, help out her family, and find--when she wasn't exactly looking, the RV of her dreams.

I am, at the moment, trying to decide on my next savings goal. Mr FS got himself a new laptop (a Mac!); I am still searching for the object of my desire.

What are you saving up for?

Paying the Price

2012-01-18T06:32:00.001-06:00

It's easy enough to think frugality and cheapness are the same thing, that we should strive for the lowest cost. I do it myself sometimes. Sometimes, I have to resist the lure of the low price.

It is not worth it to drive to even a nearby grocery store to buy apples that are 20 cents less a pound than usual.

I have been engaged in grocery resistance for a while now. As of this year, I am trying to get to the next step and here are my first projects.

1. Beauty in my Surroundings. Susan Heller, my mother's decorating pal, suggested a fabric for my living room. Two, actually. I already bought one. It was easy because I found it on sale somewhere or other and the site had free shipping. There it sits, 4 yards on the bolt. The other one is more difficult. It is almost $40.00 a yard and all polyester. Yuck. The pictures do not show how good these fabrics look together and how the blue matches my newly painted walls AND picks up a tiny spot of blue in my grandparents' old rug.

Of course, I could go to a fabric store and look. Last time I did that, it took about two hours (of driving and looking) and none of the swatches ended up working. I was also depressed and covered with a film of sweat! Stress does that to me. The total savings would be at most $40, since I need two yards for a few pillows.

So I should JUST DO IT. Then, of course, I have to have the pillows made, since I can't do even the most elementary sewing.

2. Satisfying Miss Em's Material Desires. And she has many, being 20 years old. She is not as dementedly frugal as I can be, but she has some moments. I got a glimpse of myself (the dark side of frugality) when I witnessed Miss Em trying to get some make-up at Ulta: it was BUY 2, GET 1 FREE and she had a $3 coupon. She went crazy! That is because there were only two of the face powders she wanted. Finally--partly because I find make-up stores rather boring and poor Mr FS was waiting in the car--I said: JUST BUY ONE. She did, with gratitude.

The other thing Miss Em wants is camisoles from Banana Republic. They are $25! So, while I was having my nervous breakdown, she sweetly asked if she could use the $15 birthday coupon they send me every January. Sure. Sometimes it's not worth the time to find a SINGLE item you want on sale.

Of course, once you relax in the demented frugality department, you receive karmic rewards. I was getting something at a drugstore, when I saw some face powders marked down to 75 cents. They were a Paula Begoun recommended brand, so I got three for Miss Em. Now she won't need face powder for at least a year.

Then, when I was creating the link to the overpriced Banana cami, I saw that they were having a 30% off sale. Better than nothing. I think I will get Miss Em 3 or 4 (4 will get free shipping too), so we will not have to think about that for a year.

OK karmic forces: where's the fabric?

Seriously, for what kind of things do you "pay the price" because seeking out a bargain will cost too much in time or end in failure anyway?

See Funny About Money's related post on having a hated tree cut down.

How to Gauge Cashmere Quality

2012-01-17T07:48:00.000-06:00

Just in case you missed the little article in the Wall Street Journal.

This confirmed everything I THOUGHT, but now I have some evidence for my assumptions. In honor of the article, I wore the cashmere V-neck my mother bought at Harrods in London about 30 years ago. It was 100 pounds when the pound was par with the U.S. dollar (an event never repeated, at a time when I was too poor to go anywhere). Thick, made in Scotland. My parents were ecstatic at the price and my father was thrilled to be interviewed on the subject of how far American dollars were going in England. He was very loquacious and so was sad that his lengthy analysis was reduced to 1 second of radio time: "A cashmere sweater for $100!!"

By some weird harmonic convergence, I bought an old Hermes cashmere sweater at Goodwill (when what I want is a SCARF! Hear that, Thrift Store gods!!!???). It is the thickest cashmere I ever felt. I can hardly imagine wearing it indoors. I need to find this to test out my new cashmere knowledge, but I think Miss Em spirited it away.

The best place to feel nice cashmere is in vintage shops. No comparison with most of what you find today. Many bloggers feel that Lands End offers the best price/value ratio for cashmere nowadays. I tend to agree. Some of the cashmere at thrifts is so poor quality (and the bad stuff gets worse with age) that I won't even spend $3.00 on a sweater.

I guess if you want to test the best of the best with your hand, you could check out Hermes. I would be too intimidated myself.

Lessons on Quality in Clothing: Fabric and Construction Details

2012-01-16T12:43:00.000-06:00

A couple of readers have asked me how one recognizes quality in clothing--both in the retail and secondhand markets. As a total non-sewer, I have to say I have learned a lot from books.

I've written about this book before. I first encountered it courtesy of a friend with whom I was planning to compile a guide to secondhand shopping in New Orleans. Well, the friendship ended as did the idea, hatched in those halcyon pre-Katrina days.

Why is a book on secondhand shopping still in print after 12 years? Because most of the book is on how to recognize quality: in fabric and in construction. It is really good: even buttonholes and button orientation are things to inspect.

Confession: When I was in graduate school and my TAship ran out, I discovered that I was very good at finding vintage clothes. So I did. And consigned them at the Eye of Osiris, the epicenter of the Bloomington vintage world. In another life, I must have been a seamstress or weaver, because I am very good at discerning nice fabric. In fact, I run my hands across the racks at thrift stores. I can always recognize fellow fabric people, because they--like me--look with their hands.

This is definitely a skill you can acquire, simply by going to stores and touching the merch (clean hands, please!). You could follow the path of Terri, at Rags Against the Machine, who will be scoping out shops from low-end to high-end in the coming year.

Try to get a hold of that book. It is fascinating reading.

Do you have any recommendations on how to learn to discern quality?

Next Nosy Question: What Clothing Do You Buy at Retail?

2012-01-15T14:11:00.000-06:00

As I mention in some recent responses to comments, the time for my ultra-frugality may be coming to an end. I do need to loosen up a bit. Miss Em will be out of college next year, so I can relax a bit.

While pondering my perhaps too-frugal ways, I realized that I cannot recall the last time I bought an item of clothing at "retail." Oh, a pair of jeans for Frugal Son, a few years ago, and even they were paid for by Grandma.

In part, this is because I have a pretty good understanding of how sales cycles work. There is very little that is not on sale at one time or another. the twice a year sales of my girlhood have been replaced by a near-constant cycle of sales. Also, I like going to thrift stores, so I seldom need anything on short notice.

So dear readers, I thank you for providing me (and the universe!) with a list of well-priced basics. Now, a more nosy question, what do you think is "worth" (however you want to define that) buying at retail?

By which I mean clothing and accessories and shoes.

Thanks for helping me!

What clothing brands provide both reasonable prices and good quality/value?

2012-01-14T09:27:00.000-06:00

Just wondering, chic and frugal (sometimes!) readers: which clothing lines provide both decent quality and reasonable prices. Here, I'm not talking about how you can use your Hermes bag every day for ten years, yielding a reasonable COST PER WEAR.

I'm talking more about Lands' (their typo) End tees worn by the wise Vivienne.
Or the silk basics recommended by the equally wise Duchesse.

I guess I'm talking about the basic pieces that will enable those of modest or moderate means to save up for the special item. Sad to say, I mostly buy these basic basics for Mr FS. I bought Mr FS two turtlenecks from Lands'End a few months ago: the cotton is combed and of quite good quality. I need to look for some myself!

P.S. Of course, the reason Lands' End can sell their tees for such low prices is because they are produced where labor costs are very low. I can only hope that these big companies have the desire and muscle to enforce fair working conditions and wages. The rash of suicides at the Chinese factory where Apple products are made gives one pause--or more than pause, really.

P.P.S. Check out Duchesse's swoonworthy shawl in her blog pic.

So...am I weird or what?

2012-01-13T09:50:00.000-06:00

In response to my somewhat incoherent (because I haven't figured things out fully) post that was a response to a blog comment, here's another of the same. metscan--elegant blogger from Suomi--wrote this, to my post about all the luxe goodies I've found at thrift shops:

So, I gather that deep inside, you actually desire the " brands ", the luxuries, as you mention all the fine brands you have bought from thrift shops, only you are not willing pay the price asked for them in a luxury shop?

And she added: Sorry, I have some mixed feelings right now..

Me too. What motivates me? Is it really just that I don't want to "pay the price"? A complex issue, both personal and cultural. Cultural, because in the United States, unlike in Europe, pricing is wacko, to put it mildly. In Germany, say, where sales are regulated, the whole economy is supported by those prices. Here, that is not the case: I have to save up for expensive dental procedures (of which I've had many); higher education for one's children is extremely expensive; and there are few guarantees for retirement. So, in Germany I would pay the price. Here, I need to save where I can for scary uncertainties. It's easy for me to save on clothing, so I do.

And--on the personal side--well, who knows? I like my Lands End cashmere as much as the Dries Van Noten. They are of equal quality, though neither is of the quality of some of my vintage pieces.

Does it make me feel clever? Well, yeah.

Do I feel that good quality items are overpriced? That the name commands a ridiculous premium? Yes. That is why so many fakes abound, which are hard to distinguish from the original.

Am I aware that wearing status items can lead to better treatment out in the world? Yes.

OK. Back to planning my classes for next week. I wonder what I will wear on the first day of class....

Frugality /Luxury/ Endorphins

2012-01-12T20:54:00.000-06:00

Hmmmm. An interesting comment on one of my making do posts. Yes, my blog was visited by LPC of Privilege, a veritable celebrity in the blogosphere. (Perhaps this is related to my recent encounter with Bryan Batt on Magazine Street.)

LPC speaks of her need of extravagance, and then says Granted, extravagance that is within my means, but I don't get sufficient joy from frugality to compensate for the endorphins gained from the occasional (affordable) luxury. Ah, what would we not do for endorphins?

My question is do the endorphins come from the object or from the extravagance? Or the intersection of the two?

Sticking to luxuries on the material plane, I myself have gotten several luxury items over the past few years: a Dries Van Noten cashmere sweater, a Dries Van Noten jacket, a Hermes cashmere sweater, three Hermes ties--one with tags, a Hermes scarf, and a few other things I can't think of right now. The ones I mentioned are at the pinnacle of my thrifting of late, however.

These were thrilling finds. Are the endorphins greater if you buy these items in luxe settings rather than in a thrift store, where they didn't even make it to the "Special Prices" rack?

Perhaps more endorphins are to be had from the dangerous quest and the danger of spending too much?

Thanks, Lisa, for leaving such an interesting comment.

Any thoughts on the above questions?

News from Nantes!

2012-01-12T07:58:00.000-06:00

An email from the people whose home we stayed in last summer:

Où que vous soyez, nous vous envoyons nos meilleurs vœux pour l’année 2012.
Avez-vous des projets pour l’été ? Nous serons à Nantes, au moins jusqu’au 20 juillet car Laureline (la fille de Jacques, que vous connaissez) nous a annoncé à Noël qu’elle allait accoucher vers le 13 juillet !! Nous voilà donc bientôt grands-parents …
Mais si vous souhaitez revenir, vous êtes les bienvenus !
Amicalement

Yay! We can go back! Now we need to plan where else we will go.

Making Do: Simple Cooking with John Thorne

2012-01-11T19:44:00.000-06:00

Still thinking about making do. Here is something by one of my favorite food writers on the topic. If you haven't read John Thorne, you are in for a treat. All his books are wonderful. This excerpt is from Simple Cooking.

His essay is called Perfect Food and has an epigraph from Alice Waters, who is a force in California cuisine and beyond: I am sad for those who cannot see that a brown-spotted two foot high lettuce, its edges curling and wilted, is ugly and offensive. It is a fundamental fact that no cook, however creative and capable, can produce a dish of a quality higher than that of its raw ingredients.

I must confess that I find Waters insufferable. Even aside from that, I think I would find Thorne's view more compelling.

The cook who must carefully sniff the gamy shank of lamb or pick suspiciously through the pail of bruised berries is drawn to connection by necessity. Their scrutiny is genuine and the repayment is in kind: such stuff tells us things that perfection can never share.

This isn't to say that real cooking requires the spur of dubious materials. What I imagine as the counter to anesthetic perfection is what to the kitchen gardener is a common experience. They glory in what is perfect in their crop, but they feel attached to all that they planted, protected, plucked. These are, after all, their children too.

And the hand that happily sorts these things, gouges away the soft spots and digs out sprouting eyes, that rubs off scabs and flings small salvageable bits into the soup pot, is a hand once again the extension of the tongue. Our appetite should always be larger and more curious than our hunger, turned loose to wander the world's flesh at will. Perfection is as false an economy in cooking as it is in love, since, with carrots and potatoes as with lovers, the perfectly beautiful are all the same; the imperfect, different in their beauty, every one.

Buy the Cheapest Ham You Can Find

2012-01-10T18:01:00.001-06:00

I was returning home after a somewhat dispiriting day, when I saw a sign outside of a tiny grocery in Robert, Louisiana: spiral ham 99 cents a pound.

Even though I am under strict orders not to buy any more food (due to over-full freezer and fridge), READER, I BOUGHT ONE. I seldom eat ham: my mother never cooked it and I cook perhaps one a year. Mostly I'm interested in the bone, from which yummy red beans and rice can be made.

Here is my favorite recipe, actually my favorite preface to a recipe. It is from Saveur Cooks American and is a recipe offered by Monte Williams, an ad executive in Manhattan.

Here is the preface. Monte Williams has used this ham as a party staple ever since, as a young arrival in town, he first had it at a glamorous New York party.

Watching the other guests devour the glazed, glistening hunk of pork, Mr. Williams begged his hostess for the recipe.

Buy the cheapest ham possible. glaze the hell out of it and cook it for a long time.

And the Saveur editors caution: So don't waste your money on a fine aged ham; use, as we do, a plain old bone-in prepackaged supermarket ham.

OK. Here is the recipe from the Saveur site. Strangely, Monte Williams has morphed into Monte Matthews. Whatever.

15-lb. smoked ham on the bone
1 1/2 cups orange marmalade
1 cup dijon mustard
1 1/2 cups firmly packed brown sugar
1 tbsp. whole cloves
1. Preheat oven to 300°. Trim tough outer skin and excess fat from ham. Place ham, meat side down, in a large roasting pan and score, making crosshatch incisions with a sharp knife. Roast for 2 hours.
2. Remove ham from oven and increase heat to 350°. For glaze, combine orange marmalade, mustard, and brown sugar in a medium bowl. Stud ham with whole cloves (stick one clove at the intersection of each crosshatch), then brush with glaze and return to oven.
3. Cook ham another 1 1/2 hours, brushing with glaze at least 3 times. Transfer to a cutting board or platter and allow to rest for about 30 minutes. Carve and serve warm or at room temperature.

In Defense of Making Do: Diana Phipps

2012-01-09T11:39:00.000-06:00

Or should I say "An Apology for Making Do"? That would be an echo of Sir Philip Sidney's Defense of Poesy, which also goes by the title Apology for Poetry. How to defend something that seems frivolous, useless, and even deceitful? If you're really interested, I'll let you know how Sir Philip Sidney did it.

In the meantime, we shall turn to another aristocrat, Diana Phipps. I've written about her before. She is an aristocrat whose family lost everything, so she turned to "making do" to have comfortable spaces. Whenever I need some aesthetic inspiration, I look at her book, as much for her attitude as for anything else. For your reading pleasure, here is an old article about her. A blogger has helpfully photographed the living room DP did in London.

I lived what I think are called my formative years in a castle. Changing political and financial circumstances played havoc with our living habits. Within the first ten years of my life, my parents twice lost and once regained their properties from occupying military forces, losing them first to the Germans, then to the Russians. After that came various stages of poverty. When we finally became emigrants to the United States, at last, once again, I had a room of my own. It was in an ugly and very small house. There I first began "making do." I built my furniture out of cardboard boxes from the grocery store. Over the boxes I glued blue-and-white gingham bought at Woolworth's. I tented my bed with the same material and had masses of ruffled cushions on the floor when floor cushions were not yet the fashion. They were stuffed with clothes waiting to be ironed.

Thirty years later, I'm still doing more or less the same thing, but now the gingham occasionally also covers a grand chair.

And thirty years after that was published, she is back in her castle, courtesy of the great Vaclav Havel. I remember reading that she used masses of pajama flannel to swath some of the beds. This site shows some pictures of the beautiful interiors.

Sir Philip Sidney couldn't say that poetry--by which he means fiction in general--makes people happy. Back in the day (1500s), that wasn't a good enough reason, so he had to come up with others. I must say: making do makes me happy.

Good Source for Temporary Slipcovers: Making Do with Uglysofa.com

2012-01-08T12:26:00.000-06:00

While I am mulling over the definitions of making do and frugality proferred by my readers, I will give you a good source for the kind of making do (in the definite second best sense) necessary for many: slipcovers.

I am the proud owner of two vintage Henredon armchairs of pleasing shape, whose upholstery seems to have been used as scratching posts by millions of cats (of previous owner).* I am also the owner of a very shabby sofa that I got for free. Not exactly free: I bought a sofa, only to see the upholstery fabric disintegrate in less than a year. The seller (cursed be his name: Wes) said that the damage had been done by my cats. Only I didn't have any cats. I girded my frugal loins and called the company; after an investigations, they replaced the sofa and told me just to keep the old one. Thanks!

Now all three reside in my study/guest room/former room of Frugal Son. They are dispiriting to behold. Eventually, I will have slipcovers made for the chairs (at least $250 each, including fabric). Trouble is: I'm not sure where these treasures will end up and the sofa will be history pretty soon, but is useful for the nonce.

Those loosefit slipcovers which are sold everywhere are sooooooo hideous. And frugal me hates spending money on something hideous, not to mention temporary. By chance, I came upon the aptly named site: Ugly Sofa. They sell seconds from Pottery Barn: dropcloth slipcovers, and, even cheaper, the kind with separate pillows.

I bought the dropcloth because they are huge squares of fabric, which means that I can eventually use them as fabric for my "real slipcovers."

Warning: the shipping is very expensive.

Good thing: this seems to be a small family biz. One of their other offerings is Christmas stockings that came with wacky monograms. They cut the tops off and made new cuffs. Ingenious! Frugal!

Verdict: I got yards and yards of nice cotton twill that can be re-used. It doesn't look great (because I am uncoordinated and can't arrange fabric well), but it looks better than what is underneath.

I'm very happy to be making do--in this instance.

And, since I mentioned millions of cats, let me direct you to this children's book, which was a favorite of both Mr FS and his mother, Virginia. It was reprinted when our kids were little and we bought millions of copies to give as gifts.

Does the term "making do" depress you? Does the word "frugal"?

2012-01-07T10:12:00.000-06:00

Ah, connotations! I am so happy about my new-to-me scarves, courtesy of my mother. Since I had previously fantasized about getting another Hermes scarf, I saw this as making do--in the sense of creative, economical, ecological: frugal in the best sense.

So I was surprised when Duchesse said this in a comment: "making do" so lifeless and limp. There is room in between for *pleasing*. I am referring to a certain level of "good enough" that has not a whiff of settling.

Hmmm. What she means by pleasing, I mean by making do. My scarves are more than pleasing, however: I like them a lot. In these last days of my winter break, I am finding lots of ways to make do: with some book shelves and with some slipcovers (more about these choices later, maybe).

The word frugal has a similar effect. When I teach Ben Franklin, who has a lot to say on frugality beyond the "penny saved, penny earned" saying, I find that students are repulsed by the word frugal. EWWW, they say, that means cheap No it doesn't.

So, as to the questions in my title, what do you think of these words?

The Lure of Perfection and Making Do: My Mother's Scarves

2012-01-06T20:35:00.000-06:00

Like many other bloggers, I sometimes have the urge to buy one perfect item--and be done with it. I first had a glimpse of this orientation many years ago, when I dined with a person who is somewhat famous: I'm sure she doesn't remember me and, in fact, took no notice of me at the dinner. All I recall, other than her indifference, was her pronouncement that for the past few years, she had bought a single Armani suit each year. And that was all. So impressive! Since she was pregnant when I met her, and wearing borrowed maternity clothing, I couldn't gauge the success of her choice.

But whenever I think this is the way to go, something happens to make me reconsider.

We recently took a family trip to Florida. We rendezvoused with Miss Em's friend Mr C in Pensacola, where he left his car and joined us for the journey. Miss Em put some of her stuff in the trunk of the car, so Mr C could bring it to school for her in January. A few days later, Mr C got a phone call: someone had thrown a rock through the window of his car! My first thought (after condolences to the car owner, of course): oh no! All of Miss Em's expensive new items are in her expensive new backpack!

As it happens, the vandal just wanted to make a mess and everything was safe in the trunk. And I also remembered that homeowner's insurance would cover any stolen items anyway.

Still, owning expensive items can be stressful. I loved the fact that if my young children spilled grape juice on their thrifted outfits, I could remain nonchalant about the whole thing. I know if I did buy that Hermes scarf (about to go up in price, by the way) I would worry about losing it, spilling something on it, etc etc.

My mother gave Miss Em and me a few pieces of jewelry that belonged to my grandmother and great-aunt. I asked my mother if she had any scarves she wanted to get rid of. As it happened, she had a whole pile of lovelies from the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. She bought them many years ago when she attended some lectures there. I don't think she's worn the scarves for 20 years. She was happy to give some to me. She may, in fact, have gotten the scarves at a discount, since my father's cousin does research at the museum.

So, my mother decluttered. Miss Em and I got some pretty scarves: ecological and economical at the same time.

And I can still save up for the perfect one.

Do you make do or go for perfection?

Multi-Generational Housing? Retirement?

2012-01-05T09:37:00.001-06:00

I guess I never told you that we were going to Florida. Well, we're back, and Miss Em is off to her next adventure.

I'm in the waning days of my vacation, and love nothing more than curling up with a good book. FROM THE LIBRARY. Everyone knows that is a key part of Frugality 101: use the library.

One book I'm reading and loving is this.

Yes, I am thinking about multi-generational housing.

Every few days, it seems, there is some article on the increase in multi-generational housing brought on by the financial meltdown, We hear of college grads or young adults moving in with parents; parents moving in with kids; the middle-aged moving in with even older parents; or the same older parents moving in with their middle-aged kids. This is always presented as some dire necessity,* to be escaped from ASAP.

The parents of the baby boomers are especially horrified at the prospect. My mother--aged 81--was talking about assisted living, and I suggested she move in with us if she needed extra care. She said, "That is the cruelest thing anyone has ever said to me." I didn't mean it that way! I thought I was nice.

Anyway, the dire articles always have zillions of comments, most, like my mother, horrified. Then there are those, mostly of Asian descent, who say: That's how we do it! Some point out that college grads who do that can save up for a house. The elderly can hang with their grandchildren and children. Multi-generational housing is presented as positive--something that can be pro-active, rather than simple re-active to economic or other emergency.

That last has been especially on my mind. Instead of a few intense (and not always in a good way) visits to relatives, wouldn't it be nice to have a more low-key relationship--every now and again, for a short time?

The book pictured above shows many ingenious transformations of houses (and not Mcmansions) to accommodate more than one family, with opportunities for togetherness and lots of privacy. I've already figured out how my 2000 square foot house with small back building could accommodate not one, but two families in addition to Mr FS and me.

Food for thought. What do you think of the issue of multi-generational housing?

*After writing dire necessity, I knew it was from somewhere. It is: Milton's Samson Agonistes. This tells of Samson's death, when he pulls the walls of the temple down, killing the Philistines and himself.

O dearly-bought revenge, yet glorious!
Living or dying thou hast fulfill'd
The work for which thou wast foretold
To Israel, and now ly'st victorious
Among thy slain self-kill'd
Not willingly, but tangl'd in the fold
Of dire necessity

Did I Pay for My House By Saving on Groceries?

2011-12-25T10:41:00.000-06:00

I'm sure there are errors in my math and assumptions, but I would bet that my general point is sound (economists: correct me if I'm wrong).

One of my great skills is being a black-belt grocery shopper. (Another, in case you are curious, is analyzing poetry.) I have never spent more than about $200/month for my family of 4. And, no, I don't use coupons (I'm too messy). And even though we eat a lot of beans (because we love them; because they are a superfood; because they are environmentally good--oh, and cheap), we eat lots of luxury items too. So last week, Mr FS and I dined on lamb: we had lamb twice, lamb stir-fry once, and then--oh bliss--Scotch Broth, which Miss Em, back from college, declared her new favorite soup.

Last night, we had Miss Em's former favorite shrimp and corn soup.

I buy in the seemingly bizarre way advocated by the couponing-help site The Grocery Game: buy a bunch when it's on sale. There, you don't have to subscribe to the Game, which costs a little bit of money. Anyway, my cart will have one week 20 coffees; another week 20 peanut butters, whatever. When you are a poverty-stricken beginner at this, you can buy 3 coffees or peanut butters. Anything is better than nothing.

So, according to the USDA, in 2010 a family of four spent--per month--$582 for the thrifty plan, $758 for the next one, then $948, then $1150.

OK, let's ignore inflation and compounding. The fact that we eat well on less than the food stamp allotment (!) over 20 years: around $400 a month (around $5000/year) over 20 years=$100,000! Hey, that's around the principle on my house. Which I paid off early, btw. Now I see how.

Little savings over many years matter a lot. And really add up. That's good news for those of us who can't (or don't want to) find ways to earn more money.

Frugal Treats and Celebrity Sighting: While Saving for Hermes Scarf or Whatever

2011-12-23T18:47:00.000-06:00

So much advice on how to save money focuses on Just say no. But such advice is so dreary. So many treats are within reach.

Today, in honor of the arrival (finally) of Miss Em for her vacation, we went to New Orleans.

First stop: Whole Foods to use the bathroom, buy some fruit, and check out the samples. Cost: a couple of dollars.

Second stop: While on Magazine Street, which has a somewhat European vibe with its small shops, Miss Em and I (with the shop-averse Mr FS reluctantly tagging along) went into two shops to hone our aesthetic sense. We went to Pied Nu (great name!) to look at items by John Derian. Then, we looked at Hazelnut, one of whose owners is Bryan Batt of Madmen fame.

While I was trying to show Miss Em the bowl I would like to buy if I ever get the house sufficiently in order, she got distracted. There was Bryan Batt on the sidewalk right outside. So we said hi and shook pinkies, because he was carrying a tray.

Third stop: Buffalo Exchange, where I waited on line to unload some Goodwill mistakes. Meanwhile. Miss Em did her shopping. Mr FS (poor guy) went for a walk and then read in the car. Sorry! Miss Em found two tops and two holiday gifts for friends. We still went home with $92.00 from the Buf boxes.

Fourth Stop: St James Cheese. OMG. this place is amazing. We weren't that hungry, so we shared two sandwiches from the menu. Which would you have chosen?

Oh and what would you rather see: a sandwich or Bryan Batt?

Total Spent: Around $25.
Total "Earned": Around $120.00.

Instead of Hermes, try...leather bracelet

2011-12-21T06:29:00.000-06:00

Ever since I became enamored of my thrifted Hermes scarf, I have wanted another. This has led to some time spent on the Hermes site, looking at their wares. The prices are truly eye-popping, like the coloring book for $130.

Strangely, the silk scarves at around $400 don't seem so overpriced, given the complexity of the patterns and the labor involved. They are printed by hand, as opposed to photographic printing.

I have also learned that there are addicts for many Hermes products, including their leather bracelets. The most famous bracelet of all was copied by Target last year, which led to howls of shock and despair all over that corner of the web.

How about a leather bracelet that's not a copy, but is just itself. Check this out!

Incongruities at the Thrift Store

2011-12-20T08:31:00.000-06:00

I justify my thrifting expeditions in various ways: I am helping a good cause! or No one appreciates this abandoned item! or I am actually conducting sociological research!
Not that I'm a sociologist. Not that I need anything.

Still, some strange and (to me, anyway) interesting moments. For instance, at Goodwill the other day, I heard the cashier exclaim "I didn't know Jimmy Choo made purses!" To which the proud purchaseer replied, "Yes."

Also shopping that day was a woman in a sweatshirt of interlocked G's with a tag saying GUCCI. Also, a giant purse to match.

A few days earlier, Mr FS and I went to New Orleans to go to the art museum. I said I wanted a brief stop at Bloomingdeals, run by the Junior League. I've written before about how much I loved this place when my children were small. Since Katrina, the stock and general ambience are quite forlorn.

There, I spied a gaggle of young volunteers. They were huddled together, discussing in loud tones the fact that Saks was going to have an additional 40% off sale starting Monday and that their husbands would kill them when they got the bills.

Status! Class differences! So much to see at the thrift store.

Wonderful Books for Children for Chanukah and Christmas: Not for Children Only

2011-12-19T06:15:00.002-06:00

Just thinking about these books fills me with emotion. They are worth owning (I do), but remember: LIBRARY.

Do you have any favorite books from these and other traditions?

Cheap Chic at the Table: French-style

2011-12-18T09:42:00.000-06:00

It seems that every trip has a taste memory. Our first trip to Paris together (children with grandparents--merci beaucoup) is evoked by the memory of the coffee served in Hotel Vernueil, a splurge for us (both hotel and breakfast) unlikely to be repeated.

On our last trip, we were lucky enough to have meals with three families, all arranged by the people whose home we stayed in. At two, we had prunes wrapped in ham. That's the recipe. Heat in oven. How could that be so good? The teenage boys of our second dinner hosts were ecstatic also, never having had it.

Here is an official recipe: Prunes and cured ham
Amuse-bouche jambon pruneaux

These ham appetizers a warm and satisfying treat, with next to no effort. If you're going to do just do one appetizer, pick this one. It is fast, fast, fast and delicious.
4 ounces raw ham, such as jambon de Bayonne or prosciutto
20 pitted prunes (I prefer smaller ones for this, so that the final roll is small enough to eat in one bite)
Slice the ham in about one inch by six inch slices. Place a prune on each and roll up. Place under the broiler until the ham sizzles - about 2 minutes depending on your broiler.

Careful to let these cool a bit before enjoying - the hot prune can burn your mouth. If you want, you could add a toothpick afterwards, but don't put these under the grill.

I am a recent convert to prunes. As a child, I associated them with very old people. They are now called dried plums, in order to them of the fusty associations.

Mr FS and I bought a tiny amount of prosciutto at Whole Foods. This was enough to make us a small portion of the prunes before 4 or 5 dinners.

They were as good as we remembered.

Lands End Now 40% off plus Free Shipping

2011-12-16T09:03:00.000-06:00

In case you didn't get the email. Nothing for me, thanks.

* 40% off your entire order
Excludes gift cards, special services, duties & taxes. Savings reflected at checkout when valid promotion code and PIN are applied at time of order. Offer ends 11:59 p.m. Central Monday, December 19, 2011. Christmas delivery applies only to in-stock items without monogramming, engraving, hemming, cuffing or other special requests. Delivery within 48 contiguous states excluding P.O. Boxes. See Shipping Calendar for details.
** St. Nick's Picks
Prices shown reflect savings. Offer ends 11:59 p.m. Central Friday, December 16, 2011

Or at checkout‚ manually enter the Promotion Code DONNER and PIN 1585.

Frugality and Hermes

2011-12-15T09:27:00.000-06:00

This is kind of funny. There is a huge discussion group on the purseforum, with a section devoted to Hermes, the superluxe leather and other goods company. Many women--and a few men--discuss their desires, model their latest purchases, critique various collections, and get ebay and other secondhand offerings authenticated.

Needless to say, I don't really fit into this group. I wanted to see pictures of scarves. They really are beautiful. But wait! There is a group where I feel right at home: the Saving Up for Hermes group. On this thread--which began in 2007 and continues to the present--posters lay out their schemes for saving up for their desired item.

Here you will find the usual suspects: eat at home, sell your excess on ebay, don't buy things you don't really want, and so on.

Really, the laws of frugality are timeless, and, with enough time (and barring major financial meltdowns), you can save for what you want.

Another Hermes scarf...maybe?

2011-12-14T09:23:00.000-06:00

As my devoted readers may recall, I fulfilled one of my low-level fantasies last year: I found a Hermes scarf at a thrift store. I like it.

Then, I was reading the blog of one of my readers--Viviennefiles (check it out if you haven't)--and glanced over at her blogroll, where I discovered a blog called aestheticalterations. Well, I'm all in favor of aesthetic alterations, so, my interest piqued, I took a peek.

Very interesting! Here is a woman who, with (I am presuming) an average income, manages to buy the occasional Hermes scarf, accessory, and even handbag. It can be done. This to me is the epitome of frugality: conscious spending so you can get what you want. What you want, of course, is up to you.

Most of us in the middle-income bracket assume we can't have certain things. I met the wife of a cardiologist (average income in my area $500,000-$700,000) who said she had never been to Europe because she couldn't afford it. Meanwhile, she was wearing many, many thousands of dollars of jewelry on her arms, neck, and ears. She had made her choice.

Since I was having so much fun with my scarf, I decided I wanted another. They cost $400. Can I save $400? Yes. I'm pretty sure it can be done. Could I spend $400 on a scarf? I have my doubts.

So I have decided to defer the decision. I will save $400. Then, in a year, if I still want one, I will think about it.

I even bought a little piggy bank at the thrift store.

Which one should I pick?

If you want to know what frugal sounds like...

2011-12-13T08:59:00.001-06:00

Here is a true slice-of-life from the frugal household. It is recorded for posterity in our gmail chat account.

After chatting with Miss Em for a bit, I let Mr FS get on, for HIS turn with our beloved daughter. When he got on, he announced his arrival (and my departure) with this:

MM (c'est moi) is going to CVS now to buy toilet paper so you can go to Europe.

As if that's not sufficiently ludicrous, Miss Em replied:

Yes! I understand! Thank you.

That's what frugality is all about: little choices so you can do what you want. Don't mock us toooooo much.

Here is a visual representation of what I mean:

THIS:

over many days can equal THIS,

THIS,

and THIS!

Can you believe it?

I Swore I Wouldn't Do This: More Bargains from LL Bean and J Jill

2011-12-12T07:50:00.000-06:00

I really don't think I'm going to succumb, but there are some good deals out there IF you need the stuff--or if one of your intended recipients does.

LL Bean has 30% off all backpacks--today only. I bought a travel pack for Miss Em last year. For a while, she pined for a leather backpack; she seems to have gotten over it.

J Jill, from which company I have bought exactly one item, has 25% off everything and free shipping.

By the way, I turned in all my grades. After having absorbed the stress of my 100plus students over the last few weeks, I need a rest. How about a book? I'm reading The Magic Mountain, which I abandoned halfway though over 30 years ago.

Frugal Stress Relief in the Faubourg Marigny

2011-12-11T10:44:00.000-06:00

Grades are due tomorrow morning and my week of misery will--perforce--be over. Since some decisions are ALWAYS at the last minute, Mr. FS and I decided to play hooky and go to New Orleans. Our plan was to go to Whole Foods (which was having a "Taste of the Season" sampling) and then the Aquarium.

Well! the tasting was awful: many samplings of fingerling potatoes in various guises. Then we couldn't find decent parking for the Aquarium. Plus, it was a beautiful day. We decided to drive around the Faubourg Marigny, which I just read is one of the "most intact 19th century neighborhoods in the United States." No parking there either.

Then we saw a big SUV try and fail to get into what seemed to be the only parking space. Yay for the Honda Civic.

We walked for the duration of our parking: almost 2 hours. Honestly, we felt as revived as we do during our mammoth walk-fests in Europe. And we were revived physically, mentally, and aesthetically.

This site has some nice pics of the area.

Do you have any nearby spots that offer physical, mental, and aesthetic renewal?

I Was Treated Like a Queen in a Store

2011-12-09T22:18:00.000-06:00

Now, how did that happen? Usually, I frequent thrift shops, where I am left alone. Every now and then, I do go to a retail establishment and watch the salesperson's eyes flicker to my shoes and my bag--usually I am found wanting. That's OK, since I like to scrounge around and hate retail pressure.

But a few weeks ago, I got a taste of being treated like royalty in the retail arena: at the Encore Shop in New Orleans, a half thrift/half consignment shop that benefits the New Orleans Symphony. I had been perhaps twice in the last 20 years, leaving empty-handed both times.

But for some reason, I felt the urge to check it out. In I walked, my usual scruffy self. Mr. FS said I could have 10 minutes.

I saw a tall blond right out of Town and Country magazine. She was trying on clothes, but rushed to meet me, asked my name, and followed me around. I told her what was on my wish list, but--alas--nothing on my wish list was my size. She made me promise to come back on one of the days she worked, so she could help me. Imagine: I was being helped by a New Orleans society lady! What a thrill.

I even found her picture in the paper, so you can see what I mean.

I didn't see any Coach shoes for $4 (indeed, this place was rather expensive). I did buy a pair of shoes, which looked brand new. They were $22.00, half of which goes to the orchestra.

Good Deal on Best and Most Frugal Skincare: Cerave

2011-12-08T08:45:00.000-06:00

Cerave lotion is cheap to begin with, but this week (till Saturday) it is "Buy One Get One Half OFF" at Walgreens. That brings it to about $10 for a bottle. Check out Paula Begoun's glowing review.

Love this stuff! So does Miss Em! And I make Mr FS use it too.

If you get the regular lotion, remember to use sunscreen.

Some more good deals I am not going to avail myself of

2011-12-03T08:08:00.000-06:00

I know this seems ridiculous. But a few readers have used the codes I have posted (Duchesse got some down jackets for the men in her family). Not to mention that I have over 200 items to grade (some requiring a mere glance, most requiring sustained attention) before I can take a breather. So no (or few) posts or responses for a bit.

Anyway, if you can stand Chico's, the code 10977 will give you 50% off your highest priced item if you spend $50. The last thing I bought from Chico's had a gaping hole in the knit fabric when I pulled it from its box. UGH. Now I have to shlep it and myself to a Chico's for the return.

LLBean has 20% off outdoor gear this weekend. Plus, if you spend $50, you get a $10 gift card. My colleague bought himself 4 new plaid flannel shirts. He knows I love soft fabrics, so he let me rub his elbow!

Subway has 2 $2.00 6 inch subs. You have to ask for these. One is meatball; one is cold cuts.

Every day, Lands End has a St Nick's pick. Last year, I got a tote bag with this promotion. They usually have free shipping.

Oh yeah, Powells Books has free shipping and 25% off till Monday. There's a unique code, but they sent me 3, so if you want to patronize this venerable institution, let me know, and I will send you one of my codes. I remember old Mr Powell coming to campus to buy books back in the early 70s.

And remember: it will all be on sale in a mere few weeks.

My Cyber Monday Shopping

2011-11-28T13:45:00.000-06:00

Well, I succumbed to two cyber Monday tempations: two wearever tank tops from J Jill (which came to $15 bucks a piece) and two black mock turtlenecks from Lands End for Mr FS ($9 bucks each). Free shipping, of course.

Honestly, does it not seem that clothing is too cheap?

What if we were like Germany, with few and strictly regulated sales?

I know for sure that I'd have a lot less stuff.

One More Good Deal

2011-11-26T11:36:00.000-06:00

Garnet Hill: 40% off clearance items PLUS free shipping.

BLACK FRIDAY SALE: TAKE AN EXTRA 40% OFF ALL ITEMS on SALE & CLEARANCE --- and FREE SHIPPING! Use code H1W235B at checkout. Hurry in for the best selection and get your gifts done early! http://ghill.me/tr0sRk

I think this is valid through Monday.

AMEX Small Business Saturday: $25 Credit

2011-11-26T10:15:00.000-06:00

If you registered your card, today is the day to use it. We're off to buy some wine at the little store down the road.

More Specials I Will not Avail Myself Of: Black Friday and Beyond

2011-11-25T09:31:00.000-06:00

No way will I enter a store today! However, several stores entered my email with some tempting offers. I really don't need anything right now, but maybe you do.

Cuddledown: luxe linens. One day, I will get linen sheets. Today, 25% off EVERYTHING. I suppose that includes the furniture?

Ballard Designs: decor. I've bought two things from this company, burlap curtains on supersale last year and some Olivia tables, which are on sale right now. 10% off everything (except Bring Home Ballard, which includes my tables) PLUS FREE SHIPPING. This last is a real deal (over $50 for the free ship)!

LL Bean: preppy stuff. 10% off (15% if you have their Visa) plus FREE shipping (which they always have) plus a $10 gift card if you spend $50plus. The last is good till December 24; the first for a few days.

Lands End: LLB wannabe. Now it's 30% off sitewide, plus free shipping. These offers have become so commonplace as to be ho hum. I mean, ho ho ho.

Mr FS was planning to go to Lowes to buy a router for woodworking. He didn't know it was Black Friday. I talked him out of going to the store.

I asked Frugal Son via on-line chat what he wanted for the holidays and he said "Dunno. Meh."
Miss Em wants a camera.

CHEAP Decor from Cote de Texas

2011-11-23T16:37:00.000-06:00

Now that I'm trying to improve my living space, I've discovered some of the cheap chic blogs. Of course, what these bloggers present as cheap and what I think of as cheap are often different. There are so many opportunities for inspiration--not to mention procrastination.

The other day, singlemomrichmom--a blogger whose posts I look forward to--was ruminating on the very subject of decor, wondering if she'd have to buy a bunch of junk--I mean, stuff--and hire someone to arrange it artfully. I can relate. I have lots of stuff, but I am a poor arranger.

Then I noticed a post from the uber-blog cotedetexas, a proponent of white slipcovers, European furniture, and seagrass rugs. Most of her posts feature places waaaaaaaayyyyyy beyond my ken. Recently, though, she discussed her daughter's college apartment. This apartment features a white slipcovered sofa from Ikea (the famous Ektorp) with the matching ottoman used as a coffee table. There is a sunburst mirror (available at many price points) over the sofa--and that's about it.

It's a mighty good looking space in and of itself. And, unlike many such spaces, it's frugality itself!

Cheap Gifts for Your College Student, Adult Child, or Yourself: Rice Cooker and Slow Cooker

2011-11-20T09:13:00.000-06:00

Far be it from me to promote shopping for something you don't need. I don't need a slow cooker or rice cooker. But many need one or the other or both. In fact, a colleague recently asked me to pick her up one at the thrift store. I told her that thrift stores sell those appliances for basically the same price they cost new.

So, no, I am not going to link to the famous on-line retailer. Instead, you will have to go to Target. There they have a 3 quart slow cooker for $10 and a 6 cup rice cooker for the same. Note that the slow cooker is smallish (mine is 4 or 5 quarts) and the rice cooker is a medium size. Still, you can cook at least half a pound of dried beans in that slow cooker. And make enough rice for a few meals.

For $20, you can get both! That leaves enough money to buy some provisions, for which your recipient--starving student or regular person--would, no doubt, be grateful.

Gifts for Teachers: FRUGAL Gifts for Teachers, that is

2011-11-19T08:57:00.000-06:00

My second re-posting of this "classic."

Since this is the season of TEACHER GIFTS, I'm taking the liberty of reposting an oldie (but I think still goodie).

No, I'm not going to recommend that you buy a mug with an apple on it. Or a mug that says A+ Teacher. These are to be found at any Dollar Store.

There are also scores of such mugs, along with similarly emblazoned teacher gift items, at any thrift shop. Do not burden your child's teacher with these; your teacher has already donated last year's gifts. Since my definition of frugality involves getting the most from the resources of time and money, even $1.00 mugs are not frugal, since every teacher is given scads of these, every year.

Frugal Son had a wonderful teacher in grade school. Mr. Callahan was so gifted at classroom management that his class was filled with a large percentage of kids with behavior problems. At assemblies, I would watch with awe as he, with only a small gesture, would quiet down a kid about to go out of control. Mr. Callahan was also an artist, and retired in his 40s to pursue that full-time. He disappeared from our purview after Katrina. If you see him, say hi.

Mr. Callahan also had a gift for gifts. He told his class that he didn't really need anything. So no gifts were necessary. This in itself was thoughtful, since more than half the children at the grade school received free or reduced lunch. But, he said, if their parents HAD to buy him something, they should mention that he didn't need any coffee mugs. He already had a lot. Oh, and he needed socks, calf-height, size 10 and always appreciated coffee beans.

What a wonderful gift to us. Frugal Son and I spent perhaps an hour at the local coffee shop deciding what kind of coffee beans to purchase. There were so many choices: Colombian, Tanzanian, Ethiopian, and more. We picked two half pounds because we couldn't decide on one kind.

At the year end party, Mr. Callahan opened his gifts. He got a lot of coffee and a few pairs of socks. Then he opened a box and out came a mug. Grade school kids don't have the "politeness" of adults. One child blurted out, "You said you didn't want any coffee mugs." Without missing a beat, Mr. Callahan replied, "I wasn't talking about THIS mug. This is the exact one I wanted."

Many thanks, Mr. Callahan. The lesson here for recipients: if possible, indicate what it is you want. For givers, consumable gifts (who wouldn't want coffee? or tea? or a gift card?). We often gave teachers bouquets from our garden. These were always well-received. The best-received gifts: appreciative notes from parents and children.

Dear Readers: what are your best gifts for teachers?

Special Offers I Will Not Avail Myself Of

2011-11-13T09:11:00.001-06:00

But maybe you want to:

Garnet Hill has $20 off $100 on full price merch.
Savings alert! Now through Monday, SAVE $20 when you spend $100! It’s the perfect time to grab gifts, or that special something you’ve been eyeing. Use code H1W158B at checkout to SAVE! http://bit.ly/sXL15b

*$20 Off $100 offer is valid through November 14, 2011. Offer applies to full-price merchandise total on orders shipping to a single address and does not include the purchase of Gift Cards, g...

Then, Lands End has 25% off everything and free shipping over $50. Remember, you can return to Sears.

LL Bean has 10% off everything through Sunday night.

Then, Ballard Designs has a 15% off code. Email if you want it.

I myself don't need anything at the moment. What a wonderful feeling of (over)abundance.

Freebie for American Express Card Holders: Small Business Saturday

2011-11-08T21:02:00.000-06:00

This seems to be too good to be true, but it IS true. American Express is running its second Small Business Saturday on 11/26. You have to register your card (with Amex); Amex sends you a confirmation, and then you spend $25 or more at a SMALL BUSINESS on 11/26 and receive a $25.00 statement credit.

Naturally, I'm going to spend my $25.00 at the little grocery and wine store that is a short walk away.

Hope this info is useful to someone.

Credit Card Relief: A Frugal Mantra

2011-11-06T09:33:00.000-06:00

So many tempting offers are coming my way: on-line sales, catalogs from the few places where I've bought things over the last year, and so on.

The FRUGALISTA'S MANTRA

In SEVEN WEEKS IT WILL ALL BE ON SALE

THAT's around 50 DAYS

EVEN IF IT'S GONE, YOU PROBABLY WON'T WANT IT

OR THERE WILL BE SOMETHING ELSE

EVEN BETTER

OMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

How do you keep yourself from succumbing to temptation?

Wedding Bell Blues: A Modest (Frugal!) Proposal Instead of a Wedding

2011-11-05T09:03:00.000-05:00

A colleague told me that a friend of his just received a directive from her future daughter-in-law: Buy a blue dress for the wedding. This is probably normal, right? People want color-coordinated pictures, I suppose.

As the veteran of a $30.00 wedding (all inclusive), I am obviously not the most wedding-centric person. I was discussing the blue dress request with Miss Em when she was home a few weeks ago. She already knows I hate big parties and could not perform as expected at a wedding. So I figured that she was also aware of what would next come out of my mouth.

Instead of a wedding, I wish more people would take the money and go on a trip. We would give you $5000 or $10,000 for a trip if you didn't have a wedding.

Well, her eyes bugged out! She had no idea.

You could take two trips with that money!

Am I heartless?

Iconic Fashion

2011-11-04T09:32:00.000-05:00

As it happens, I am an ICON. Yes, on Halloween, one of my students came to school dressed as---me. She was wearing a long cardi, a long tank, skinny jeans, a scarf and ballet flats. The pièce de résistance: glasses on a chain. Before I realized what she was doing, I told her she looked nice. I guess I like how I dress!

Sadly, I was disappointment to her that day: I had to go to a post-funeral service at the home of an acquaintance. Therefore, I did not wear my usual garb. With my usual jeans, I wore two thrifted iconic pieces: a black St John knit jacket and my Feux de Route Hermes scarf (I'm almost certain it's not a fake). Well! Many compliments at the informal service, delivered mainly to Mr. FS. He said, "I've never seen before the power of an accessory." Yes, he said it.

Have you ever caused a minor sensation with an iconic item?

A Plethora of Onions

2011-11-03T16:03:00.000-05:00

A while ago, Funny About Money wrote of near-apoplexy at the sight of a $1.00 onion at the grocery. Even though she had gone to the grocery expressly for the onion, the price so shocked her that she left---onion-less. Most of us frugalistas have done similar silly things: after all, a dollar won't kill you, plus you wasted that money on gas, plus you wasted your precious time. I know I've had price freak-outs myself.

So imagine my delight when the most recent ad for Piggly-Wiggly featured 3 pounds of onions for a mere dollar. How I wish I could pass that price on to Funny! The great thing is that a new Piggly-Wiggly opened right on our commuting route. I check the ad every Wednesday and stop off to get whatever is good. Mr FS snoozes on the car for the 15 minutes it takes.

Now I am the owner of 9 pounds of onions. Needless to say, these will not last forever. Here's what we do: we roughly chop 3 pounds and put them in the slow cooker with a bit of oil. For a long time. This results in an approximation of caramelized onions. We freeze the resulting much=reduced onions in a zip-lock.

I've written about this before. The best part is how much time it saves. The money is actually merely a nice bonus. What percentage of recipes start: "Chop and saute an onion"? 50% at least. Then you have to wash your cutting board, knife, pot, and hands.

So, once I have my frozen treasure, I might break off a chunk and throw it into a pot of potatoes. Add a little stock (or not), simmer, and puree when soft with your stick blender. Add some butter. Dinner is ready!

Oh, you need more veggies? Throw some chopped spinach into the pot.

Think of all the recipes you could use this for. Do you have any tricks like this?

i'v

CHEEEEEP Shampoo and Conditioner

2011-10-26T04:45:00.000-05:00

I love Paula Begoun: she does her research and loves inexpensive products. She just put together a list of the best inexpensive shampoos and conditioners--among them a Suave product! Think of what you can do with all the money you save.

The 5 Best Inexpensive Shampoos
The products listed below are presented alphabetically by brand. After analyzing dozens of competing products, we selected them based on price, great performance, and intriguing formulas (well, as intriguing as hair-care formulas can be given their widely repetitive nature). All of the listed products are readily available at drugstores and mass-market retailers such as Target and Wal Mart. We're betting that some of these prices will shock you, but once you use these products, you probably won't go back to the expensive ones because of how well these work!

1. Aveeno Nourish + Shine or Nourish + Moisturize or Nourish + Volumize Shampoo ($6.49 for 10.5 oz.). Regardless of which one you choose, these all work great for all hair types without causing considerable buildup—the formulas are nearly identical.

2. Dove Volume Boost Shampoo Weightless Formula ($3.49 for 12 oz.). A great all-purpose shampoo for the whole family that's also a wise choice for normal to fine or thin hair. Most stores sell a larger size, too.

3. John Frieda Smooth Start Repairing Shampoo ($5.39 for 10 oz.). A brilliant conditioning shampoo for dry to very dry hair that's normal to coarse, curly, or thick. Note that many of Frieda's shampoos contain drying detergent cleansing agents, but this one (packaged in a tube) doesn't.

4. Suave Naturals Daily Clarifying Shampoo ($1.74 for 22.5 oz.). An exceptional bargain for a shampoo that works beautifully to remove product buildup and restore a healthy bounce and shine to hair, especially if you routinely use heavier styling products (pomades, waxes, or silicone serums). This is also a great shampoo to remove chlorine and hard water deposits from hair.

5. VO5 2-in-1 Moisturizing Shampoo + Conditioner, Normal Hair ($1.49 for 15 oz.). Although those with dry or color-treated hair will want to follow this with a good conditioner, this 2-in-1 formula is suitable for its intended hair type. This is a much better option than the other VO5 shampoos because those contain the drying cleansing agent sodium lauryl sulfate (not to be confused with sodium LAURETH sulfate, which is gentle).
The 5 Best Inexpensive Conditioners

1. Clairol Herbal Essences Hydralicious Reconditioning Conditioner for Dry/Damaged Hair ($2.99 for 10.1 oz.). This is great for daily use on dry hair, whether it's chemically treated or not. This can be too heavy for those with fine or thin hair.

2. Garnier Fructis Color Shield Fortifying Cream Conditioner for Color-Treated Hair ($3.09 for 13 oz.). Among the many Garnier conditioners, this is a good option to smooth, soften, and add shine to color-treated hair. It doesn't have any advantage for helping color last longer, so you can ignore that claim.

3. Neutrogena Triple Moisture Daily Deep Conditioner ($5.74 for 8.5 oz.). A must-try for dry, damaged hair that's normal to coarse or thick, this rich smoothing formula makes hair beautifully soft and helps combat frizzies.

4. Pantene Nature Fusion Moisture Balance or Smooth Vitality Conditioner ($5.89 for 25.4 oz.). Most of Pantene's conditioners are good, but their Nature Fusion options capitalize on the silicone technology for which Pantene is known, and also adds intriguing conditioning ingredients that have research showing they help strengthen hair and protect against heat damage, at least to the extent possible (no product can completely protect hair from heat damage). The Moisture Balance and Smooth Vitality formulas are nearly identical, so it doesn't matter which one you choose—both are good for normal to dry hair of any thickness.

5. TRESemme Moisture Rich Conditioner for Dry, Damaged Hair or Smooth & Silky Conditioner for Dry or Damaged Hair ($2.89 for 15 oz.). The formulas of these products are nearly identical and with each you get an outstanding daily conditioner that's best for normal to dry hair that's normal to slightly thick, curly, or coarse. These can be used on fine or thin hair, but only if applied to the ends and rinsed thoroughly.

It truly is possible to have beautiful, manageable hair without spending a lot of money.

Check out Beautypedia for other recommendations.

Benefits (?) of the Economic Downturn: Health Club

2011-10-25T10:12:00.000-05:00

For many years, we belonged to the area Y: we had a killer family rate ($300/yr) and used it for various things: Mr FS used the pool, Miss Em took ballet, Frugal Son did this and that, and even I--when I could rouse myself from my comfy chair--walked on the treadmill. Then they moved to a very bad facility with no pool. We stuck it out, even though we seldom traveled to the distant facility because the manager said we could keep our special membership rate. They built a big new Y and--after years of holding on to our cheap membership so we could use the new facility--the director said the "computer wouldn't take our membership." Right. The new facility is very far away and the new cost about quadruple, so good-bye.

Last spring we bought a Groupon for two months at a facility (no pool) about a 15 minute walk from our house. We didn't plan to renew after the 2 months. When the facility opened about 4 years ago, we inquired and discovered that there was a MASSIVE joining fee, plus a monthly fee of $120 for the two of us, to be paid upfront for the year.

We finally activated the Groupon yesterday. Out of politeness, I asked what the fees were. NO JOINING FEE! Monthly fees: the owner said "Where do you work?" When it finally emerged that we were teachers, she said "We love our teachers! You get the public servant rate for $60.00/month for the two of you!" I said that we went away in the summer, "No problem! You can suspend your membership." Then I asked if you had to pay for a year in advance. "No, not in the current economic climate."

I can't think of another way that the economic downturn has benefited me or most people. I guess bankruptcy lawyers and the like are doing fine.

But I think we may join the health club at the end of our trial. So happy.

Chic Surroundings: Frugal Style

2011-10-23T12:03:00.000-05:00

My first exposure to frugal decor was in a magazine my mother got, perhaps Ladies Home Journal. My father worked at an ad agency at the time (Kenyon and Eckhart, mentioned on Madmen) and the magazine was a freebie that my mother--not much of a reader--never opened, as far as I can remember. Anyway, I remember a feature on furnishing a room where most of your budget went to a single high-ticket item: one was a piano, one was a rug, and I can't remember the others. Perhaps that article was the origin of my belief that you can always cut your spending to afford what you want. Like my trip to Europe!

I've been trying to improve my home for a while. It is a slow process, exacerbated by my frugal mindset. It would be easy enough to go to any of the elegant shops around town--even my little town--and pull out the credit card.

The internet is a great source of inspiration. It turns out zillions of clever people post their budget ideas and projects on-line.

Have you ever seen Copy Cat Chic?

Or--for the DIYer--a burlap ottoman slipcover. The handy Miss Em swears she can make this.

Any other good resources?

Advice and Opinions Wanted: from Francophiles and Others

2011-10-21T12:12:00.000-05:00

Soooo, we asked Frugal Son to keep a look-out for rentals in France, since our freebie of last year was probably a once-in-a-lifetime kind of event. Lo and behold: another Assistant would like to sublet her apartment in the old part of Le Mans for 500 euros a month.

Le Mans does not seem as chock full of stuff to do as Nantes, which was our nearest city last summer. Still, Le Mans is closer to Paris and the price seems quite good to us.

What do you think, dear Readers? Should we make arrangements or keep on looking?

Art, Debt, Sharecropping

2011-10-19T15:01:00.000-05:00

What does it say about me that I wrote about a consignment shop in Alabama before I wrote about the Kentuck art festival, which was why we visited Miss Em to begin with. I guess I am shallow.

The festival was wonderful, but there was so much to look at. It was quite overwhelming. Since I suffer from decision-making anxiety, I didn't get anything. Miss Em bought a pretty ring; she is very sure of her decisions.

One of the booths had a huge line. The artist--who, according to Miss Em is very well-known--produces letter press posters. These had pithy sayings, many having to do with coffee. Some shaded to the too-cute-for-me. One celebrated Samuel Mockbee, the great Alabama architect who, before a too-early death, focused on housing for the poor. Miss Em's friends hadn't heard of him, but I told them to look him up.

One of Miss Em's friends said, Miss Em: you should buy this one! It was a poster saying A penny saved is a penny earned. I guess Miss Em is frugal like her mom and dad.

Then I saw another one. Sadly, I cannot remember the exact saying. It was along the lines of Don't be a sharecropper to your credit card company. Unlike the Franklin saying, this one took a bit of time to figure out. Like the Franklin saying, this one is full of wisdom. Truly, if you have credit card debt, which often involves ridiculously high interest rates which make it ever harder to extricate yourself from debt, you are working for the credit card company. The company gets a piece of what you earn, perhaps forever.

Have you seen any pithy sayings of late?

Thrifting in Tuscaloosa: Financial Lessons

2011-10-18T18:50:00.000-05:00

Mr FS and I had sooooo much fun visiting Miss Em. As per our tradition, we went to Twice as Nice, an excellent consignment store. I can't believe how nice the stuff is, ranging from pretty nice up to a Vera Wang wedding gown that originally sold for $22,000. (Note to Miss Em: please do not buy such an expensive dress for a one-day event.) There are also very posh homegoods and even furniture there: the shop is pretty much the only game in town.

As is my wont, I had a chat with the owner. She told me that she has 12.000 consignors, though I don't suppose all are active. I told her about the book The Millionaire Next Door, which suggests that auctioneers are often secret millionaires, because they see how much value consumer goods lose. The owner agreed. She said, People think we're like Sanford and Son, but they should see what I have in my house. Interestingly, hers was a soft sell. I was swooning over some candle sconces (my latest desire). She said, Oh, I'll get more in sooner or later. I always do.

So not only does the owner have access to all sorts of great stuff (and she pays only 1/2 of the already low price), but she knows there's no need to rush: something just as nice or nicer will always show up.

Miss Em and I were rather like girls gone wild and we bought way too much. So, as penance, and to get the closets back in shape, I am filling boxes with my no-longer-desired clothing. Miss Em will consign them after she comes for a visit next week. I'm hoping we'll make enough money to pay for what we bought PLUS the sconces.

I'm getting the feng shui whoooosh of energy that comes with de-cluttering.

Crabby Post: What Do You Think of Tom's Shoes?

2011-10-14T06:05:00.000-05:00

Luckily, I live a virtual life here, so I can't get in toooo much trouble for crabbing out about Tom's Shoes. I see these shoes--usually slip=ons made of cotton canvas-- everywhere. On all sorts of feet. They are extremely chic. The company is classed as an example of social entrepeneurship, but it is--in my opinion--not in the league of the various micro-lenders and companies like Newman's Own mentioned in the wikipedia article.

Yes, the company gives a pair of shoes away to a needy child for each pair sold. But, honestly, I've seen the shoes, which sell for around $50.00. Frugal Me thinks these are awfully expensive, the donation notwithstanding. Now if Tom's gave away FOUR pairs for each one sold, that would be something. I bet they would still make a tidy profit.

Am I too crabby? too unfair?

Thai Peanut Sauce plus Customer Service Rant UPS and USPS

2011-10-13T10:21:00.000-05:00

OK. I was going to start with the rant, but you don't really care. On my other blog, I wrote about a dinner party I'm planning for my daughter and her college friends. Part of the menu: Thai peanut sauce, which we will serve on tofu and whatever else we can think of (vegetables?).

There are many complex recipes for the sauce, but, owing to my lazy and frugal ways, I searched for the easiest. It is soooo easy. Just made it. It's good.

4 TBS peanut butter
4 TBS vegetable oil (NOT olive)
4 TBS soy sauce
4 TBS sugar
4 TBS vinegar
1 tsp Asian sesame oil (if you don't have this, leave it out. That's what a Thai grandma would do)
a little hot pepper, if you so desire

Now when you crave Thai food, you can pick up a rotisserie chicken and make this sauce. That will save you about $20.00 right there.

OK. I HATE UPS CUSTOMER SERVICE. Of course, hating UPS is like hating the sky: through 3 levels of customer service, I received ye olde "There's nothing I can do about that. I'm sorry you feel that way."

While I'm at it, I also hate the postal service. My p.o. has managed to hold my mail ONCE out of FOUR requests. Oh, and the passport person doesn't feel like processing passports. So no matter what day you go in, you are told, we do that only on ANOTHER DAY. They say this even though the sign says M-Th. Actually, the USPS has much better customer service, because something was done when we complained.

But isn't that peanut sauce good? Check out collegecookingcrashcourse for the rest of the menu.

Big Lots Coupon! Plastic Storage Bins! Happiness!

2011-10-09T08:48:00.001-05:00

The great thing about being frugal is that it doesn't take much to make me happy. That is because I have many make-do "systems" in my house that I have been making do with for many, many years. Add to that the fact that both Mr FS and I are terrible at decluttering AND at organizing: any little improvement makes a big difference.

So the confluence of two forces.

First, I read an organizing book that recommended plastic storage tubs so that you could see the contents. I guess most normal people know this.

Second, Big Lots has one of their 20% off coupons today! I missed the last two since I was out of town. The sale started early, so I bought two 66 quart bins ($8.00 each after the discount) and-WHOA-they are great. Big Lots is about 1/2 mile from my house, so it's no problem to return and get a few more today.

They look so good. They hold so much. And they replace cardboard boxes of various sizes with legends like Sentimental Sweaters (knit by deceased family members--no we are not getting rid of them). The we have the labels written by Mr. FS. He is better than I am at most things--and a good cleaner to boot--but his labels are terrible. To wit: medium good misc Fall 2008.

See, with the plastic containers, you can SEE the contents.

I also buy food at Big Lots. They have tons of Bob's Red Mill at the moment. It's not much cheaper than on Amazon, but with the coupon, it's a little cheaper.

Have any little things made you happy lately?

Retirement and Riches!

2011-10-07T10:02:00.000-05:00

I've been slogging through almost 200 pieces of student work over the last few days. Hence this post is part of my PROCRASTINATION PROJECT. This is a project that I don't need to explain: we all have expertise in this area, except for a few very focused souls.

Anyway, reading the prose of more than 90 students is not conducive to writing. So I will instead send you over to Duchesse of PassagedesPerles, who used to write about jewelry and style (still does), but also meditates on retirement. She outlines some creative responses to this dilemma: how can I travel?

Next, let's check out Funny About Money. Like many of us, she is often in a panic about money. Well, today, she posted quite a cheery piece about her new sources of income and the snazzy St John suit, rich lady attire par excellence, she snagged at a consignment shop.

Somewhere in the depths of history, I wrote about getting a St John jacket (still unworn by me) at a thrift store. I was inspired by this WSJ article. In a comment to Funny, I mentioned that Nancy Pelosi and other Washington bigwigs wear St John. According to the article, wearing St John garners you R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Back to grading. My outfit: a pair of Eileen Fisher pants that are too big but very comfy, topped by a Hanna Andersson pajama top. Both from thrift stores!

When I'm done grading (I have a few more days), I will resume commenting on my comments. Thanks, Readers!

Keeping Money in the Family: Family Capital

2011-10-02T10:31:00.000-05:00

I've read here and there on the blogosphere thoughts on social capital, which seems to be a fancy way of saying do unto your community, so your community will do unto you. There's not as much of this around as in days of yore: we each seem to be living in our households, every kid with a full library of identical toys and Disney tapes.

Recently, I've been thinking of family capital. This probably means trust funds for those who have them! I'm thinking of my own more humble family version.

Miss Em, for instance, has been cutting my hair for several years. After witnessing my misery with professional cuts, she said, "I can do better." Even aside from the psychological benefits, I save, perhaps, $150/year. I can't remember when she started, but I suppose she has at least $600.00 in her family bank account. She cuts Frugal Son's hair too.

Meanwhile, I'm cooking up some freezer meals to bring her.

i suppose I'm the one who benefits, since when she saves money, I save money, and Miss Em remains under parental support at the moment. Still, we had the money to fund her course in Italy last summer.

I don't know how to transform the virtual family savings account into something "real." Mr. FS says that it is good to promote the idea that we are all in this together: that what benefits one family member, benefits all.

That is why Mr. FS and I fantasize about babysitting for our (at present imaginary) grandchildren. We could be adding at least $10/hour to our children's virtual bank accounts. Tax free for both worker and employer!

Does your family engage in similar money-saving activities?

What is Your Image of Retirement Anyway?

2011-10-01T13:56:00.001-05:00

Shelley wondered in a comment yesterday if I would take my mother in. In fact, I would. In fact, my mother is horrified at the very thought. It would be very low on her list of desired retirement options. She has said that, if she can no longer stay in her Florida condo, she wants to move to assisted living so she can be with friends. Not necessarily the friends she has now, but friends nonetheless.

As for me and Mr FS. We are unlikely to do what my parents did: move AWAY from the area where they had lived for many years (and where one child still lived...and lives) to move into a condo/golf community with constant social activities. Mr. FS and I hope we can move TO wherever at least one child settles. We're hoping that would be OK with our children.

My parents and Mr. FS's parents had no interest in babysitting for grandchildren. My parents took a few weekends when Mr FS and I had professional obligations. Mr FS and I, by contrast, hope that our children don't wait so long to have kids, because we would love to do a lot of childcare.

I guess that in days of yore, people didn't have so many choices.

Do you know what you want to do?

Elderly Parents and Overspending: Responsibilities

2011-09-30T09:27:00.000-05:00

Ahhhhhh. Since my anonymity has long since been compromised . . . an embarrassing topic. What do you do when you see an elderly parent overspending?

My mother is 81. My father, who handled all the money, died almost three years ago, during the depths of the economic meltdown. Three days after he died, my mother got an accountant (a neighbor). Four days after that, she put half her money into the hands of an advisor, recommended by the accountant. The other half is in TIAA-CREF. The advisor has been urging her to take that money out and let him manage it. The advisor has not told either her or me (I asked him directly) how he is compensated. He did tell me that he and his wife made $700,000 in 2007.

Anyway, my mother has been totally transparent about her assets. I noticed that she is taking more than 10% from the TIAA account. I told her that is not a sustainable withdrawal rate, even for an 81 year old.

I don't want to go into the details of her spending at the moment. I did get her to call someone at TIAA, who told her that her money would run out in 9 years.

I guess it's good that I'm pathologically frugal! My mother gets angry at me as the bearer of bad news. My un-frugal sibling said that the advisor seems like a great guy!

So...what does one do when one sees an elderly parent overspending? Any advice would be appreciated.

Cheap Chic for Your Home: Burlap and Indian Print Spreads

2011-09-29T15:59:00.000-05:00

Aside from de-cluttering, which is free, are there any home decor items that are truly frugal? I've been giving this some thought and there don't seem to be many candidates.

Years ago, in a small town in Michigan, the town librarian bragged about her chair that cost a quarter. Further questioning uncovered the fact that she spent $250.00 on fabric and labor for reupholstery. This was in 1986.

A few years ago, one of the rich ladies in my town insisted that her couch only cost $250.00 to reupholster. After a bit, I figured out that this was exclusive of fabric.

In other words, I remain skeptical. Often, what you save in money, you spend in time, which is why antique dealers often have so much neat stuff: they spend all their time shopping.

So here are my candidates.

1. Burlap: This costs only a few dollars a yard. i first saw burlap curtains at a fancy shop in my town. It is still going strong and looks amazingly like linen (to me).

2. Indian print Bedspreads. These are still handblocked. Strangely, the French provencal fabric we all swoon over was originally made as a cheaper copy of the pricy Indian imports. Of course, this was over 100 years ago.

Two questions: can you think of anything else that would qualify?

And also: where can you buy Indian print spreads nowadays? They used to be available on every street corner, but no more.

Free Music and Free Enterprise

2011-09-25T09:58:00.000-05:00

We were lucky to notice that--contrary to the info from my source--Museum Day for New Orleans was yesterday, September 24. When I figured this out, we jumped into the car and hightailed it to the New Orleans Museum of Art, where we saw an interesting show of religious figures from India.

That left today free for another free cultural opportunity: Musica di Camera, an early music group, will be performing for free at a nearby Abbey.

The Abbey is a beautiful place. The church has some incredible murals, painted in the 30s (I think) and recently restored. One of my friends worked there during the restoration and I got to meet the art restorers--an itinerant husband-wife duo.

You may have heard of this place: it has been much in the news because the Louisiana Funeral Directors sued the monastery: asserting that it was against state law to sell monk-made coffins. The monks are winning so far, but the case is destined--so it says in the news--for the Supreme Court.

Two cultural events in one weekend. What bliss. Did you have any wonderful experiences this weekend?

My Bad! Museum Day is Sept 24 and Sept 25

2011-09-24T12:20:00.000-05:00

My "source" was mistaken. Anyway, we're off to the big city to see a show. Link is in previous post.

Cheap (FREE!) Culture: Smithsonian Museum Day

2011-09-23T10:02:00.000-05:00

Have all you (USA) residents heard about Smithsonian Museum Day? Museum Day is Sunday 9/25 and scads of museums all over the US are participating. You can check what museums are participating in your area and print out a free ticket for 2 on the Museum Day site. You can see the link here.

Is anyone taking advantage of this?

Garnet Hill 25% off Everything (almost) and another sale...

2011-09-22T08:27:00.000-05:00

Is 25% off frugal? Only if it's something you need or really want that doesn't normally go on sale. Garnet Hill, the catalog whose aesthetic I have been swooning over for more than 20 years, is celebrating reaching its Facebook goal--with a 25% off all full-priced merch AND free shipping. TODAY ONLY. YOU MUST LINK THROUGH FACEBOOK PAGE.

Am I going to buy anything? No. Yes, I swoon over the Eileen Fisher and the boots, but I am TOOOOO CHEEEEEEEP. However, if I was also swooning over some of the furniture, this would be a good time to buy, since it never goes on sale.

Also, my bete noire--Chico's--has a bunch of stuff for $9.99. Plus, there's a code for 20% off everything right at the top of the page. Site is down right now, so you'll have to link yourself.

You did it! With your help, our Facebook community has grown to 35,000! As a thank you for spreading the word, take 25% off all full-price items AND get FREE SHIPPING through Thursday, September 22*, just click through the link below and your discount will be automatically adjusted in your shopping cart! Keep sharing us with your friends --- the more, the merrier and watch for other exciting things coming to Facebook in the coming months! http://bit.ly/p2eIy8

* Save 25% + Free Shipping offer is valid through midnight ET September 22, 2011. Offer is valid for Free Standard Ground Shipping and does not apply to Express Next-Day or Express 2nd Day shipping fees. Offer applies to full-price merchandise total and does not include the purchase of Gift Cards, gift packaging, monogramming, or items from our online Sale & Clearance section. Excludes Hanky Panky, Hanro, Patagonia, Wacoal, Company C, Dash & Albert and Simon Pearce. Your savings will be reflected in your shopping cart. May not be combined with other offers. Not redeemable on prior purchases.

A Gift from singlemomrichmom: Early Retirement Extreme

2011-09-20T13:08:00.000-05:00

Waiting on my doorstep: a package from Canada. Hmmmmm. Yes! A book sent to me by the great blogger singlemomrichmom: her copy of the fascinating tome by the very interesting Jacob, of earlyretirementextreme.

I'm thrilled to have the book. Jacob brings the brains of a physicist to questions about how we might want to live. For a taste of his way of thinking: he has a post titled not How much do you need to retire, but How little do you need to retire?

I'm probably too old to retire very early, plus I like my job. Still, it's inspiring to see what one can do.

So thanks to Jacqjolie for her generosity. Check out her blog: it's a great read.

What's In Your Pantry? A Meal in Two Minutes or Less

2011-09-18T16:25:00.000-05:00

Miss Em called this morning. She observed that few of her friends have anything to eat in their off-campus apartments and so must go out--to grocery store or to restaurant--when they are hungry. She was surprised by this.

I replied that her own grandma has a kitchen with few groceries, necessitating a trip to the store for every meal. Ditto for the other side of the family.

The thing about shopping for each meal--or going out--is that after that meal you are back at square one. This lack of a system is wasteful of both time and money.

So, for the one area of domesticity in which I have skills, let me--yet once more--sing the praises of the pantry. Miss Em has a little pantry in her dorm: oatmeal, boxed soy milk, coffee, tuna, peanut butter, canned beans, canned tomatoes, rice, and a few other things.

My pantry has all that and more. My two-minute emergency meal is a bean and cheese burrito. If that's too much work, I always have at least one can of New England clam chowder, a convenience food I find acceptable.

I get hungry with amazing frequency--and hunger is swiftly followed by dizziness. I suppose my best frugal habit has its origin in my metabolism.

Do you have a Two-Minute Meal?

Shoe Polish Question for Chanelistas, Frugalistas, and Fashionistas

2011-09-15T16:03:00.001-05:00

Now and again I mention that I have a pair of Chanel loafers courtesy of Goodwill. They are the comfiest shoes I've ever put on--alas, since I doubt I will be buying a replacement.

Anyway, they are rather scuffed by now and two of my students--who were admiring the interlocked C's on the front--told me I should polish them. Naturally, polishing shoes is one of the skills I am lacking. I am sure I can figure it out.

Question: can I use any old shoe polish or is there a particular polish for super-expensive footwear?

Whole Foods $20 voucher for $10 via LivingSocial

2011-09-13T14:47:00.000-05:00

You probably have seen this, but in case you haven't: you can get a $20 Whole Foods voucher for $10 through LivingSocial, which is one of those Groupon type outfits.

I find most of the offers unappealing: so far Mr FS and I have sprung for an art museum membership. Most others (for restaurants we aren't enticed by or for services--pedicures and the like--we don't want) we delete without reading. But we did get our voucher and hope Miss Em will take advantage also.

Here's the notice on a "Deals" site.

Do You or Would You Couch Surf?

2011-09-09T17:21:00.000-05:00

We saw Frugal Son off yesterday. He left some stuff behind: a few single socks (the mates are perhaps in Paris?), some dirty cups, and AN IDEA. Couch Surfing. This is what it sounds like: an on-line community where you can seek or offer overnight accommodations.

Frugal Son has done it a few times, most recently in Portland with a few friends. Since he is 22 I can't really say anthing about his activities! Miss Em (age 20, so still under my care) did it (without telling us) in Greece when her accommodations fell through (I have a panic attack as I think about this incident, about which I know nothing).

I figured this was something for which my age disqualified me. Why would I do this when I can afford a humble hotel? Why would I stay with some hipster types? Who would want me, anyway? Then I was peering over Frugal Son's shoulder as he tried to find accommodations in Paris. Opportunity one: a couple working for advanced degrees in Paris. Opportunity two: a family with two pre-teen kids, who take surfers in Paris and in their old house in the south of France. These people all sound so interesting!

The system is self-regulating, with ratings for hosts and guests much like the EBay community in its early days. We loved our visits in France last summer, where we stayed with friends-of-friends-of friends for a few nights.

Frugal Son made a pre-flight phone call to his grandma, age 82. The plan is that she will fly to France next spring and then she and Frugal Son will make a trip to her childhood city: Vienna. When he told her about his couch surfing line-up, she said, "Oh, I want to do that!"

Who knows? Would you do it?

To Save Money on Ink Cartridges: New Laser Printer

2011-09-07T14:29:00.000-05:00

The few weeks before transitions--end of semester, graduation, leaving on vacation--are incredibly productive. You do all the stuff you've been putting off. Frugal Son, who is leaving tomorrow for at least a year in France, has been bugging us about our printer--a cheap one that required pricy and short-lived ink cartridges. We read somewhere that printer ink is the most valuable liquid in the world. Even Hewlett-Packard, which is getting out of the computer biz, is staying in the ink cartridge biz: that's where the money is.

Here is the printer Frugal Son picked out for us. The printing costs are a fraction of our previous printer. The quality seems fine, but we're not doing anything very fancy.

The newest member of our family. No, it does not replace Frugal Son. So glad we put an end to our procrastination on this.

Have you replaced a money-sucking product recently?

Au revoir, mon fils and an idea for the recent graduate

2011-09-06T17:34:00.000-05:00

Frugal Son is home for two more days and then off to his new job in France. Yes, job. Low-paying, but that's OK. In fact, I would love the job myself. He--along with a squadron of others--will be assisting in English language classes all over France. His pay: around 800 euros a month after taxes. HOWEVER, he will only work for 7 months, which include 8 weeks of vacation!

He just found out that he is one of the lucky ones who will receive free room and board right at the lycee where he will work. So--as he said--My salary just went up. His work week is 12 hours/week! Because of his free room and board, he will have plenty of money for travel.

What's the idea? Go abroad, graduate. Every American is in possession of something desired the world over: the English language. Many recent grads are heading to Korea, for instance, which is noted for its extremely high pay. Korea, in fact, has become the place of choice for grads with student debt: housing is provided, costs are low. You can pay off some--or all--of your debt in a few years and see Asia on the side.

Besides, it looks good on your resume. Living abroad gives you skills only talked about in today's popular major: international studies.

I have read so many sad articles about recent graduates un- and under-employed. No, I will not link to them.

Isn't Frugal Son lucky?

Why Aren't You Frugal Anymore?

2011-09-03T18:03:00.000-05:00

So asked two of my students who found my not-so-secret blog. The post where I discussed my luxe-on-a-budget lunch at Restaurant August.

First, I should point out that my being LESS frugal than I am normally would be EXTREME frugality for others--not quite in the Amy D. of Tightwad Gazette category, but pretty darn close.

What I said to my inquiring students was this: I had three major financial goals, and I've reached two of them. Goal one was HOUSE. Goal two was COLLEGE for kids. Goal three is retirement, a scary proposition, but the only one left.

Once I realized that, we decided to live it up a little more. Just a little.

Have you reached any of your financial goals?

Cutting Off the College Graduate: Thoughts

2011-09-02T13:52:00.000-05:00

Frugal Son--a recent graduate--has asked me this a few times: Why do parents let their kids spend extravagantly in college and then--at graduation--insist on immediate financial independence? He went on to say that many of his friends, many of whom are from families more affluent than ours, lived a snazzy college lifestyle, with cars (and insurance!), lots of clothing, meals out, and so forth.

Then, according to Frugal Son, upon graduation, the ultimatum comes: You must be independent within x months. So from the upper-middle class lifestyle of riches . . . to rags, especially in this scary job market. Frugal Son said that for some of his friends, the ultimatum came suddenly upon graduation.

Frugal Son and I were discussing the fact that it might be better for mom and dad to put a rein on the student's spending during the college years. This would teach the student how to survive a somewhat less opulent lifestyle than the one they had growing up. It would also allow the parents some time to secret away bits of cash that might otherwise have gone to meals out and clothing purchases college-style. What a gift it would be to give the graduate a small dowry of sorts to make the transition easier!

So: do you think our idea--the dowry for the recent grad--is just MORE parental over-indulgence? Or is it sensible for parents who can squirrel away some extra money?

Frugal Splurges: Restaurant August for $20.11

2011-08-28T16:45:00.000-05:00

Here is an update of our meal at Restaurant August, second installment of a conscious decision to be a LITTLE LESS OBSESSIVELY FRUGAL. We don't eat in restaurants all that much, primarily because I like my own cooking better than what we get in most restaurants; also because it is for us an easy way to save money for the big stuff. A while back (a long while, now that I think of it) we had some truly bad meals at New Orleans restaurants, the worst at NOLA, part of Emeril's empire. This was really embarrassing because we were being treated by relatives. Otherwise, we would have sent the food back--all of it.

Anyway, the COOLINARY prices--$20.00 or less for lunch--seemed a good occasion to dip our toes back in. It was a good experience. The food was good, the staff nice. Customers were a blend of upscale New Orleans types (a power party of people in power suits, including seersucker with Panama hat, Hermes ties in pink and baby blue on both men of the party), tourists, and regular old people. The power types ordered a la carte and the regular people ordered the COOLINARY selection.

Everyone got an amuse-bouche of what looked like a soft-boiled egg in shell. Turned out it was a layered fish mousse topped with local caviar, truffle oil, and a toasted brioche crouton. John Besh himself was there, having his picture taken with various patrons.

You really want to see the pictures, right? We had peach salads and pate to start; we had all three main courses, and the three desserts. We are a sharing family, so all was fair.

Graduation Lunch: Pretty Frugal

2011-08-26T09:13:00.000-05:00

If you like reading menus, here are our choices for Frugal Son's graduation lunch. Luckily, we are a party of three, so we can try all the main courses and desserts.

RESTAURANT AUGUST MENU

COOLINARY LUNCH MENU
Appetizer
(Choice of)

Washington Parish Watermelon Gazpacho
Covey Rise cucumbers, pickled red onions, mint

or

Salad of Grilled Chilton Peaches
Aceto baalsamico, basil pesto, bacon crisp, whipped ricotta

Main Course
(Choice of)

Crispy Mangalitsa Pork Belly
Creole cream cheese malfatti, mustard greens, tomato confit,
sauce blanquette

or

Pan Seared Gulf Sheepshead
Silverqueen corn custard, succotash, tomato vinaigrette

or

Brandade de Morue
Ravioli nero, mint persillade and soffrito marmalade

Dessert
(Choice of)

Tart of Local Celeste Figs
Brown butter and bourbon ice cream

or

Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Croquant
Salted caramel and McEwen's buttered popcorn ice cream

House made Ricotta Custard
Candied citrus, toasted brioche, local pecans, and Aleppo honey

$20.11

Excluding tax & Gratuity

What would you pick?

Treat Time! Frugal Food Splurges

2011-08-25T11:56:00.000-05:00

I do have a tendency to be a little too hair shirt in the frugality department. I keep saying--to my family, not here--that I am going to loosen up. It's easy for me to loosen up in the travel department, as witness my blissful month in France. We came in way under budget on that one--mostly owing to the fact that we had a free place to stay, courtesy of Frugal Son's beloved teacher.

Frugal Son will be going back to France soon: he will be an assistant in a lycee. So exciting. Certainly, his recent graduation from college and his upcoming departure are good excuses for loosening up.

First loosen up: We bought soft shell crabs at the local grocery. Only $5.00 a piece, these are fried and made into po-boys.

Second loosen up: There's a Coolinary celebration in New Orleans: many famous restaurants are participating. So, we are taking Frugal Son for his graduation lunch to Restaurant August, part of the empire of John Besh, who has even served as a catalog model.

Third loosen up: Louisiana lump crabmeat is $9.99 a pound. So Frugal Son will make us crab cakes on Monday when we get home from work after a 12 hour day, weary.

These three treats will be under $100.00. Not bad for three threats.

If you want to check out some wonderful cookbooks for inspiration and temptation, see these!

What are your latest treats?

Listen to Funny: Debt Consolidation and Getting Out of Debt

2011-08-24T07:46:00.000-05:00

Once again Funny About Money has taken the time to explain something: debt consolidators are not your friends. Some of these outfits are OK--sorta--but it's hard to tell the real non-profits from the faux non-profits. Funny mentions that she is often offered "free posts" by these companies: so one gets an advertisement disguised as a blog post.

All I know is that the two people I know who sought help from debt consolidation companies--more than TEN years ago--are STILL paying their debt. One person told me the debt has grown--and then listed all the reasons why this was a good thing (??).

The best book I've seen on getting out of debt is an inexpensive paperback based on the model of Debtor's Anonymous: How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously.

I learned a lot from this book; it is more than a get out of debt tome: it's also about how to value your life.

Frugality 101: No Coupons Needed

2011-08-23T09:56:00.000-05:00

I hate coupons, partly because I have enough trouble keeping track of the little bits of paper in my life, partly because I don't buy convenience foods and don't want to be tempted in that direction by freebies, and partly because the whole scene strikes me as obsessive and addictive. But that's just me. Yesterday, when I gave some students the first lesson in frugal grocery shopping (buy two peanut butters when it's on sale), they were amazed that I didn't use coupons. They had all seen the shows featuring extreme couponers on television--something I haven't done yet.

So I nosed around the internet and discovered that Teri--of The Grocery Game, a for-pay site that teaches you how to combine coupons with store sales--says that MOST of your savings will come from store sales. In fact, she says, you save about 50% with store sales. She says with coupons, you can save UP TO an additional 17%. Note the UP TO, by the way. Read it here.

I've been saying for years that I wouldn't save that much with coupons. I would have to buy a paper, for one thing, which would add even more clutter to my life. Now, thanks to an expert in the field, I KNOW that I don't need to use coupons.

Do you use coupons?

Frugality 101: How to Save Money on Food

2011-08-22T13:48:00.000-05:00

Yes, again. This morning--as I was getting a cup of coffee--I was surrounded by eager faces. Was this because of my great presentation on The Wanderer? How about Shakespeare's Henry 4, Part 1?

No, everyone was listening because a student said "I need to learn how to save money on food." And I said, "I know how to do that." And I do. I do what I do without coupons, by the way.

The answer is stockpiling when stuff you use is on sale. How do you know when something is on sale? Just keep track of what you usually buy. You don't need to create a lengthy price book: I buy mostly coffee, cheese, pasta, rice, veggies,fruit, and meat: not that much to keep track of. Oh, and I'm addicted to peanut butter, which I read is going to be in short supply next spring. OH NO!

I used to buy two bags of lentils back in grad school, so I wouldn't starve. All I bought this week: grapes at 99 cents a pound. Everything else came out of my stockpile.

This works like a snowball. After a few years you can tackle a gruesome expense--like a root canal. Or do something fun. I did both last year.

What's on your shopping list this week?

The Punishment of Savers: Why Save?

2011-08-20T10:13:00.000-05:00

It's not like you don't know this: savers have been punished over the past few years and will continue to be punished. That is because interest rates are artificially low: this benefits businesses and borrowers, but not individuals looking for some safe returns. This is especially bad for the elderly and retired, who have no income coming in.

If you don't believe me, the Wall Street Journal wrote about it.

My high-yield savings account is now at 1%. Recently, a financial mag had a headline trumpeting "Get 5 times more for your savings!" What they meant was that you could move money from a .2% account to 1%. That wouldn't make much difference, unless you had a big balance. The $5000 account would get $50 vs $12--good for some groceries, I guess. Oh yeah--you have to pay taxes on the interest, so the spread just contracted.

So why save? What else is the frugal person to do?

How I wish my children were in the market for a house!

Easy, Quick, and Even Frugal Cooking

2011-08-18T17:40:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, Deja Pseu. chic blogger, said in passing that she was in a bit of a cooking rut. While I can't help her with the style rut that was the main subject of her post, I am a cookbook reader and lazy cook. Those qualify me as an expert.

I wrote about Marian Burros a while back, but I probably had no readers then, so I will repeat myself. Burros, who was also New York Times restaurant critic for a bit, wrote about food politics, health, and cooking. Her recipes are easy, health-conscious, and quick. She has an excellent palate and everything comes out, which is not always the case with cookbooks, especially those by celebrity chefs.

Deja Pseu said her husband was a picky eater, I think. Marian's recipes are a bit foodie, but nothing is outlandish. She also presents her recipes in menu format, so you really don't need to think.

Would le Monsieur like this? Chicken oreganato, brussels sprouts with tomato sauce, Greek salad? Probably he would wince at the sprouts, but you could do another veggie.

Or how about this? Scallops with garlic and parsley, Sherley's tomatoes, curried rice.

These are 30 minute meals, by the way, and Marian provides a 'game plan" telling you the order in which to prepare things.

Marian's books were big sellers back in the day. You can pick up one for pennies on Amazon. No doubt you can get some at your library. If you happen to have a credit at paperbackswap.com, my fave books are available!

On-line Shopping: Good Deals? Surveillance?

2011-08-16T10:44:00.001-05:00

Every now and again I think I should mention the discount site Sierra Trading Post. I first heard of them when I was sent a tiny catalog, with mostly men's outdoor wear and gear. Over the years the company has gotten more and more successful and the catalogs--and now the website--have gotten so unwieldy that, afflicted by too many choices, I don't buy anything.

One reason I love the company is that it is among the few with a no-questions asked, no time limit return policy. I looked over the site a few days ago and found that they carry all sorts of desirable stuff, some even for fashionistas. So, for the sporty, they carry Keens. For the middle-aged comfort-oriented woman, they carry Lilla P. And for the fashionista they carry Lafayette148. And much more.

Needless to say, I was hooked by some (forgive me fashionistas) jean leggings. They were half price. I put them in my cart and decided to think about them for a few days.

The VERY NEXT DAY I received a 40% off coupon/free shipping offer. Now, I get these all the time and just delete. I am wondering if the offer was triggered by having the items in my cart, languishing unbought.

Does anyone know? And should we be worried about surveillance? I still love the company.

Economics: Little Picture, Big Picture

2011-08-15T10:02:00.000-05:00

There's so much wonderful stuff to read around the blogosphere. I had a lot of catching up to do. Two pieces that struck me--especially when juxtaposed--are by iamtheworkingpoor and grumpyrumblingsoftheuntenured.

Iamtheworkingpoor must be very busy: her grown kids moved back home, something common in these economic times. Here is what she has to say:

When you are on a frugal path with a goal you have to stay the course until your goals are met. If you jump too soon any small setback can put you right back where you were before. Keep your skills fresh, remember these times will not last forever, celebrate small victories, and plan out your future without losing sight of your goals.

That's the little picture. Then, from Nicole and Maggie, two social scientists (?) who may even be economists (?), we have the big picture: what needs to be done to get us out of the economic pickle we are in. Here's the graph. They seem to have turned off the comment button, probably a wise move.

Here I am in my little picture world, thinking about Shakespeare and other wonderful things and also filling boxes with Miss Em's back to school needs. She gets back tomorrow!

College Costs and Parental Resentment: After Graduation

2011-08-14T07:57:00.000-05:00

No, not my resentment. I have noticed a common theme in my chats with parents of recent grads: resentment at the costs.

I was chatting with a volunteer at the Food Bank Thrift the other day. I mentioned that I was searching for some nice clothes for Frugal Son, a recent grad.

Her:Do you feel that you were paying to fund a small country?

Me: No. Frugal Son made use of TOPS, a Louisiana free tuition program. He also got some other scholarships. I'm so glad he chose to go to a public institution.

Her: My daughter didn't. She went to *** (some private college I've never heard of in Iowa??? It must be fairly obscure if I've never heard of it.).

Me: Oh, well at least she's done. I hope it was a good experience.

Her: She liked it. I paid for it all. Then she went to grad school for physical therapy and dropped out after a semester. She's working at the Y and living at home.

Me: It's great that she has a job! And a lot of kids are living at home, so that's OK too.

Her: No, it's not OK. I told her to figure out what she wants to do. She's going to have to pay for it herself.

WOW!!! I don't know if I managed to convey the resentment and even anger emanating from this normally sweet-natured woman.

Anyway, it's probably too late for the soon-to-be college students, who have already made their choices and paid their tuition. Still, the message to parents has been let your child follow his or her bliss. The message from colleges is we're worth it! The abysmal job market for recent grads has perhaps revealed to parents some unarticulated and unacknowledged expectations.

Thoughts?

Am I TOO Cheap? Airplane Food and Icelandic Wisdom

2011-08-12T08:48:00.000-05:00

The above question sometimes worries me. I am frugal by upbringing (frugal parents), necessity (many years in school), and marriage (frugal husband--yay!). My frugal habits are so--well--habitual that it never would occur to me to buy food on an airplane. Do you indulge in such things?

To and from France, we flew Icelandic. The flight attendants wore snazzy outfits, the fleece blankies were cozy, the water bottles were stylish. BUT--even on a 3 hour leg and a 5 hour leg--no free food was served, except to first class and to all kids. (I thought long international flights served meals???)

I still have the brochure for MATUR & DRYKKUR: sandwich for 5 euros, cookie for 2 euros, pasta salad for 10 euros. Almost everyone bought food, as far as I could tell. That includes the family with a kid across the aisle. The kid rejected his free sandwich and ate only the free snacks. The parents tossed the sandwich and purchased two sandwiches for themselves. Am I the only one who thinks that is weird?

Anyway, Mr FS and I munched on food we brought from home. The Icelandic snacks looked good though!

Interestingly, the airport in Iceland offered free postcards with Icelandic sayings. I took the one with the frugal message: Everything is hay in hard times.

Do you buy food on the plane?

Be Patient, Please. Intermittent Internet Access for a Few More Days

2011-08-06T17:22:00.002-05:00

Thanks. I am out in the boonies.

Where's My Emergency Fund? On my Credit Card!

2011-08-03T20:36:00.001-05:00

No, don't worry. I'm not counting on credit cards to fund emergencies. But I was rather nervous about expenses for my long sojourn in France, which extended over two credit card bills. So--since my emergency fund isn't earning anything to speak of--I overpaid my credit cards, both of them.

As it happened, we spent a lot less than anticipated. So when I got my credit card bills, I found a big, fat credit. My emergency fund, however, is a bit on the meager side.

I'm not worried, since we are due for paychecks at the end of the month. If my emergency funds were earning the 5-10% I can remember from not all that along ago, I would think twice about overfunding. But the dangers of NOT paying a credit card bill are known to all: huge fees, interest payments on all your new charges, and so on.

Do you have any tricks like this for when you're on the move and might not be able to pay your bills?

My Summer (Financial) To Do List and Scary Financial News

2011-08-02T20:35:00.000-05:00

At the end of the summer, I am always filled with sadness over things left undone. There are always many. But as I was cleaning up--as we prepare for our last family visit for the summer--I found a list.

RETURN STUFF TO LANDS END
RETURN STUFF TO LL BEAN
TAXES!!!!!!

Yes, I did all those things. Thanks to the American Opportunity Tax Credit, which covers college textbooks, we got a hefty refund, all of which is going to our next summer's travel. Returning unsatisfactory items to LE and LLB is being a conscientious consumer, something my Frugal Dad would have been proud of.

The scary financial news coming every day is reminding me of the dreaded year 2008. Honestly, all I can do is focus on my little frugal ways.

Are you scared by the news these days? How's your To do list?

Oh No! Goodwill is Moving!

2011-08-01T19:55:00.000-05:00

No sooner do I return from my long vacation in France and my short vacation in Massachusetts than I learn the news: Goodwill is moving! To the building formerly occupied by Circuit City. It will no longer be one mile from my house (with Big Lots, a grocery store, Dollar Tree, and Walgreens), but about five miles away, near (UGH) Walmart. Just far enough not to go very often. Bliss must come from elsewhere, I guess.

To add insult to injury: I stopped in to scope things out and the selections were atrocious. It turns out that they are picking out all the best stuff for the new store, slated to open in September.

Karmically, this is a good thing. I have plenty to wear. I don't need anything except a bathroom remodel. So the net result will be less clutter: a good thing.

P.S. Sorry for the lack of response to your comments, people. I was using a tiny keyboard, which was a miserable experience. Many thanks for the comments!

Give Away: College Cooking Crash Course ebook

2011-07-30T04:29:00.005-05:00

Do you know a clueless student who would like the little ebook Frugal Son and I put together last summer? Or would you like one for yourself? You don't need to be a college student to benefit from our 20 ingredient/2 weeks of meals/cheap/easy/low mess system. Oh yeah: no stove. But it's good even if you have a stove. You do need a rice cooker for some of the recipes.

Anyway, I will give away one copy on each blog: see College Cooking Crash Course.

Entry is easy: just leave a comment below. You can double your chances of winning if you leave a comment on both blogs. I'd love it if you'd tell all your friends, but that is not required. The winner will be chosen on Friday.

If you don't win this time, don't despair. I'll be doing this now and again.

A Simple Meal in France

2011-07-29T09:32:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, I wrote about an elegant meal to which we were invited while we were in France. We also received an invitation to stay with Claire and Gerard in Brittany. It was a wonderful visit where we were once again treated to incredible hospitality.

While our first hosts, Francoise and Herve, were somewhat bourgeois, our second hosts exuded a more countercultural vibe. When we arrived, we met the hosts, their daughter, and her two children. Then it turned out that their son, his girlfriend, and two more people were set to arrive, making 11 people; 9 of us slept upstairs.

Claire was unfazed by all this. We arrived back from a day of exploring to find dinner already in process. We are having ratatouille, said Claire. In French, of course. I realized that the huge vat of ratatouille--which consisted of zucchini, onion, and tomato--no eggplant or peppers--had been made from the giant zucchini we saw Gerard cut from the plant earlier that morning. With that we had basmati rice. Bread, of course.

This was followed by some goat cheese from the area where Claire's mother lives.

For dessert we had small bowls of ice cream festooned with a half a peach and a dollop of home-made jam. It seems everyone makes jam in France.

This meal was extremely easy to produce and also quite inexpensive, proving that labor and expense are not necessary for wonderful dining and interesting conversation.

Unfortunately, my French was in a decline (though I did try), so I relaxed by talking to the grandchildren, who thought my French was just fine. The grumpy friend of our hosts' son who was silent for virtually the entire time surprised us by uttering a sentence in excellent English.

Mr FS was explaining that he first learned French when his father had a Fulbright in Paris in 1968. His family witnessed the famous student strike that spring--and lots of other strikes as well. When Mr. FS paused for a bit, Grumpy Friend said "Did you smoke weed in 1968?" That was the only sentence she said in our presence.

Julia Child was Frugal

2011-07-28T09:19:00.001-05:00

In the waning days of my summer break, I'm reading As Always, Julia, a selection of letters between the great Julia Child and the also great Avis DeVoto, who was instrumental in the publication of Mastering the Art of French Cooking.

If you saw the film Julie and Julia--I fastforwarded through Julie and only saw Julia--you might recall a rather scandalous comment Julia made about a quenelle (I think it was). That comment was supposedly drawn from her letters to Avis DeVoto (who is represented in the film); however, it may not be included in the book.

I am always searching for Frugal Sisters, so I was delighted to discover that Julia, from an affluent Pasadena family, who brought to her marriage income from a trust fund, shares my sense of frugality. Note: I don't have a trust fund.

Here she is trying to talk Avis into accepting a plane ticket for a visit to Julia and Paul in Europe. I think Avis was widowed by this time.

Our finances are in a particularly lush state this year. We live on Paul's salary, and anything from my income is used for pure squandering. We have set aside a more than comfortable lump for our home leave next year, and for a new car . . . and the rest is gravy. The point of money, we think, after you have taken care of the minimum living essentials, is to spend it. We always live on a strict budget, and pile up as much as we can for squanderings. Please think it over and say yes . . What fun!

Aren't we lucky to have enough for the minimum and to have enough to save for a future squandering? And isn't Julia's generosity just incredible?

Naturally, my next squandering will be another trip to Europe. What is yours?

Gifts for the College Bound: NO to extra-long sheets and quarters

2011-07-27T10:13:00.001-05:00

Everywhere you look in the blogosphere, you see lengthy lists for the college bound: lamps, garbage cans, fans, fridges, even ironing boards! When we brought our scholars to college, we would see huge SUVs unloading masses of stuff--including cases of bottled water. Almost every scholar brought a dorm fridge and microwave--even though the dorms at my daughter's school had fridges and microwaves in EACH ROOM. So the tiny rooms were outfitted with 3 fridges and 3 microwaves. UGH.

Miss Em always brings too much; still she is restrained compared to most others.

Anyway, a cornerstone of frugality is WAITING. You can buy stuff at the college town, if necessary. And I am here to say NO to two commonly suggested necessities.

--Extra-long twin sheets. If you can get a good deal on these, go right ahead. I am kind of picky about sheets and only buy combed cotton. I found some combed cotton stretchy sheets at Ross for my dear child. What the scholar REALLY needs is a FOAM or FEATHER MATTRESS PAD. Dorm mattresses are thin. Once you put the pad on, you will discover that you can put your regular twin sheets ON THE MATTRESS PAD. Unless your kid is on the basketball team, a regular twin mattress pad will suffice and then you can use your regular twin sheets.

--Quarters for laundry. A lot of kids will NEVER do the laundry. And before you start saving quarters, find out if the machines even take them. At some schools, students have plastic cards that are loaded with cash. These can be used at vending machines, laundry rooms, coffee shops, and so on.

One expense from which there is no escape is textbooks. UGH. A gift card from the college bookstore or even good old Amazon would be much appreciated, I am sure.

Frugal in France: Return Trip

2011-07-26T08:59:00.000-05:00

It's always good to leave a bit undone, so you have a reason to go back. Aside from the more than fifty chateaux in the Loire valley that remain unseen by us, we need to make a few purchases of items both consumable and not.

1. It turns out that French macarons are, indeed, divine. Thanks to Duchesse for spelling correction, and also to Marcela and Deja Pseu for endorsements. Really, I only had a few days in Paris and I didn't want to contend with the lines at the most famous spot. All the bakeries have them, including those out in the boonies, so I really have no excuse.

2. There are two cheeses that we didn't get to try (one was confiscated as we left France). Bon appetit to someone, I hope.

3. OOPS! Forgot to go back to Petit Bateau for a few tees.

4. Mr. FS wanted to cook some mussels, but we just ran out of time.

5. We forgot to buy the buckwheat flour for the galettes we learned how to make.

6. Gotta eat more fromage blanc.

Frugal in France: Contrarianism and Macaroons

2011-07-25T07:16:00.000-05:00

I am generally of a contrarian bent. Sometimes I think that is just a nice way to say hostile to forms of authority. I do think that contrarianism is conducive to frugality: every time someone says You must do/have this, the Contrarian says Why? or even No.

It is, as you might expect, often hard to be contrarian because people think you are weird. It can save a ton of money, however, as in, You must send your kids to private school because the public schools are terrible, You must send your kids on all of the overpriced Disney trips offered each year, and so on.

However, the Contrarian can miss out on things just because it becomes a habit to be contrary. I was thinking these thoughts recently as Mr. FS and I took a mercifully quick stroll down the Champs-Elysées. The street was still decorated for Bastille Day, very cool. It was fun (for a short while) to watch the hordes of people.

Two observations. There was a LINE OF PEOPLE AROUND THE BLOCK to get into the Louis Vuitton store. Almost everyone was carrying a small green bag from the Laduree Macaroon shop.

Needless to say, contrarian me would not stand on line to get into an LV shop. But I really should get over my contrarian ways and try at least one of those famous macaroons, which have become something of a cult item.

So the contrarianism that fuels my frugality--and enabled us to have a longish sojourn in France--may have kept us from braving the crowds (even at the other locations, I'm sure) and trying an iconic macaroon.

Here is a book I remember reading in my childhood. My father called me Contrary Woodrow for years. I'm sure he changed his ways by the end of the story.

So, readers, are you contrarian? Have you tried one of the famous macaroons?

Frugal in France: Is French Cooking Time-Consuming? Fancy Dinner

2011-07-24T01:18:00.000-05:00

I would have to say:non. If you cook a la Julia Child, who was writing for American cooks remember, it IS time-consuming. That is because you have to make all the stuff French people buy: bread, pate, and the like.

Our fanciest dinner was at the home of Francoise and Herve. Here is the menu:
--melon, baked prunes and prosciutto
--lamb chops and zucchini tian
--cheese plate
--apricot crumble

Oh, bliss in the recollection of this beautifully composed meal. Note, however, the no-work elements in this fancy menu.

Then there are the dishes that require some labor. The prunes take almost no time. Lamb chops take no work, just timing. The zucchini for the tian were probably sliced on a mandoline, and then layered with cream and cheese, and then baked. The crumble consisted of sliced apricots topped with an easy mix of crumbs and sugar.

This did involve a goodly amount of work. But much less than I used to spend on my over-complex dinner parties in the days when I did such things.

We ate in a beautiful garden with our hosts and their nice teenaged sons, Julien and Vincent.

Thanks to our hosts for a lovely meal, good conversation, and an example of graceful and seemingly stress-free entertaining.

Any tips for simple, elegant cooking?

Frugal in France: Rags

2011-07-23T01:09:00.000-05:00

If you're trying to save up for your trip to France--or wherever--try this French tip: use rags. I have been in 3 French homes and have seen not a single paper towel or napkin. Chez Daniele and Jacques, there are at least 10 piles of neatly folded rags. Well, some are napkins. Others are dishtowels. The most threadbare are bonafide rags.

As a connoisseur of dishtowels, I love the assortment. My favorites are the old raggedy linen towels.

Wait! In our clean-up before leaving, we spot a roll of paper towels. It was under stuff in the kitchen drawer. We dare not use it. I wonder what Daniele and Jacques use it for.

How much money could you save using rags I wonder.

Frugal in France: Bank of France and Monoprix

2011-07-22T11:47:00.000-05:00

Are you dying to know what I got at Monoprix? It's not very exciting. Mr. FS and I nipped into the one in Nantes to get a bakery item, when I noticed that they were having FINAL MARKDOWNS. I had been in earlier and looked around and walked out empty-handed, with my head held high.

Final Markdowns: I am not that strong. I tried on a ton of stuff and put most everything back, even though the prices were ridiculous. To wit: a tank top for 2 euros. Anyway, I bought a cotton jersey cardigan, black leggings, 2 crinkly scarves (one for a gift), and--the budget buster--9 pairs of men's sport socks.Budget buster is tongue in cheek: total bill was 23 euros.

Meanwhile, Mr FS was at the Bank of France, a scary place where he had to go through severla layers of security, show ID, be photographed, and more. His mission? To change an obsolete 100 franc note for euros. He did it in the nick of time: the window closes in 2012. His "take"? 15 euros.

Almost even. Any recent successes in avoiding the temptations all around us?

Frugal in France: No Shopping

2011-07-21T11:36:00.000-05:00

Now that I am in France, I realize how much time one can spend shopping in the USA. I'm not just talking about shopping in stores. Or even about my therapeutic thrift store jaunts (which I must cut down on).

First of all, there are no thrift stores here that I can see. Second of all, since going into stores here can be a bit pressure-filled, I confine myself to window shopping--if I am walking anyway. I love the French law that mandates prices in the windows.

In the US, I can't escape. Today I received an email announcing 20% off at Big Lots. OHHHH noooooo. I also received an email from Garnet Hill about their summer clearance. And Nordstrom sent me an email about their upcoming Anniversary Sale. It is so tempting to click on the email and see the offerings. i have been deleting though. And taking myself off of most email lists.

It has been head clearing to get away from all the shopping. I was going to end this triumphantly by reporting that I had bought nothing in my month here that was not consumable. I am sad to say that I stepped into Monoprix while Mr FS was negotiating the Bank of France.

Still, I've had almost a stuff-free month here.

How do you get away from shopping?