The last few whirlwind weeks have been instructive. Teachers know that the last six weeks or so of a semester are a nightmare of exhaustion. Students start yelling at teachers (I had that happen yesterday). Seniors lose momentum and you have to keep them on track to graduate. Piles of papers teeter. Excuses and requests for extensions roll in. Meanwhile--we have been looking at houses. An hour away.
During this ordeal--which I hope will be oever soon, appraisal and inspection willing--I realized that my desires had shifted. No longer am I thinking about which handbag I should buy for my upcoming 60th birthday in January. No, I am thinking about how to help Frugal Son set up his house. And how to save some more so that we can similarly help Miss Em when the time comes (probably not for a while; she has a different trajectory of ambition).
There's nothing wrong with buying a nice handbag. Or anything really (though I hope I remain more attentive to the human and environmental cost of things). But I see that I get sucked into the consumer maelstrom as much as anyone--though I sometimes don't think I do.
The thing is: it's hard to figure out what you want! Really want.
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3 comments:
This exact thing has happened to me more than once. I've come to accept that there will be times that I simply want more and different things than my norm and more than likely the desire will go away after a while, traded for a longer term desire.
Sometimes it comes back so I'll humor myself if it does.
@Revanche--Hoping the desires won't come back, but thanks for the warning!
Bigger wants and goals and their attainment are SO much more satisfying. Little ones, more me, are more like scratching an itch. I've reached most of my important goals for the time being. Bill has some biggish plans for remodeling and such. I'm not biting yet; need a better plan and a definite number, which doesn't seem forthcoming.
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