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Saturday, November 5, 2011

Wedding Bell Blues: A Modest (Frugal!) Proposal Instead of a Wedding

A colleague told me that a friend of his just received a directive from her future daughter-in-law: Buy a blue dress for the wedding. This is probably normal, right? People want color-coordinated pictures, I suppose.

As the veteran of a $30.00 wedding (all inclusive), I am obviously not the most wedding-centric person. I was discussing the blue dress request with Miss Em when she was home a few weeks ago. She already knows I hate big parties and could not perform as expected at a wedding. So I figured that she was also aware of what would next come out of my mouth.

Instead of a wedding, I wish more people would take the money and go on a trip. We would give you $5000 or $10,000 for a trip if you didn't have a wedding.

Well, her eyes bugged out! She had no idea.

You could take two trips with that money!

Am I heartless?


Vivienne said...

You're not AT ALL heartless, you're just way ahead of the curve on what is important in life. Our wedding was very modest (10 people there!), but the honeymoon was glorious. The wedding only lasts a day; the vacation can last 14 times that long, at least, and give you more intimate and romantic memories than a dozen weddings. Bravo for your stance!

Revanche said...

Well you know Funny agrees with you :)

And I haven't got the grand total up yet for our Faux-lopement but it was modest enough considering we fed a mid-size group.

I'm a bit sentimental at the moment, but I think that having had that much with some photos (so far, free, volunteered photography and free printing at Walgreens and the like) for the last time I saw my mom was worth the trouble. And we would have had that without the lunch anyway. But I did so wish she could have been there for the lunch.

Marcela said...

I'm with you 100%. We didn't have a wedding, because we considered that throwing one was going to endanger our financial future (we had to move our families to the other's country, and that alone was a LOT of money), so we had a sort of elopement: we got married in a 3rd country (Italy, in Florence) with 5 friends as witnesses and then continued travelling around the country. Our wedding day was stress free and great and for a party we just walked from the civil registry (located in Palazzo Vecchio) to a restaurant overlooking the Arno and had lunch there. Our savings remained intact and were used as a downpayment for our apartment. I also don't have an engagement ring: we used that money towards getting a nicer hotel for our honeymoon.

De said...

I am with you on this one! After attending ridiculously expensive and ofter ill afforded weddings with OTT dresses/flowers etc and underwhelming food I have offered my children a similar deal. Interestly there seems a trend developing, common sense prevailing I hope! The last 2 weddings of the younger set have been simple ones - one finishing with a beautiful afternoon tea and the other an elegant self catered cocktail party. Far more sensible

Duchesse said...

I am of two minds, at least. Going into debt for a lavish wedding is stupid, period. And don't even get me started on "destination weddings" where guests are expected to ante up thousands to fly to Maui or some other costly locale.

But weddings are a significant event,not just any party. Families are being united, there is a new family being formed. It's deep. A new couple receives the confirmation of love and support. People who have faith believe they are blessed.

Somewhere inbetween the no-guest wedding (or elopement) plus trip and the Bridezilla extravaganza, might there not be a small, relaxed gathering at home or at a friend's, say, in a garden? I have been to a number of these, where talented guests made the music, the bride wore a simple dress, a meal was home made (or potluck), siblings made moving toasts and everyone was lifted by such love and hope.

Frugal Scholar said...

@Vivienne--Where did you go??

@Revanche--it's wonderful to have those photos.

@Marcela--Wish I was at your wedding...

@De--Love the sound of the smaller new weddings

@Duchesse--Ditto--although those small events might be easier if the happy couple's families live nearby. Mr FS and I got married in Indiana; our families were in NY, CA, and WA.

Funny about Money said...

LOL! That's a nice offer.

But why not just give her the cash and let her do with it as she will?

Frugal Scholar said...

@Funny--OF course she can do what she wants. The trip was just a suggestion.